Without You
by Rhodes11
Summary: Jacob gets the date he's always wanted when something happens that could potentially destroy him forever.
1. Here it Begins

**A/N I collaborated with the fabulous Mmsimpy09 to create this!. We love reviews, they makes us happy!**

**Disclaimer: We own nothing.**

**BPOV**

A soft flutter of wings lined my stomach, and my heart began to race hysterically. I lifted my trembling hands to my ear as I slipped in my last pearl earring. I'd never felt so nervous in my life. This was like that feeling you experience when you're about to go for an important test. Only this test possibly held the answers to my future, and that scared the hell out of me.

I was never one for dressing up or glamorizing myself. My style was very simple- jeans, t-shirt and converse-but tonight I had gone all out,. This time everything was different. This glorious night, where the moon shone over the jet black sky, and the wind softly blew past the trees, making them rustle together, things may never be the same again. This night I would take the next step into new realms with my best friend, the reason I breathe and most importantly love of my life, Jacob Black.

A small smile began to tug at the corners of my lips at the thought of seeing him tonight. Some deluded, messed up part of me thought that all this-spending hours getting ready, trying on different outfits to find the perfect one-was all in my head.

I knew for a fact it was all real because sitting happily on my wrist was a handmade braided bracelet given to me by Jacob. It was beautiful. The jewelry was woven with cedar bark strips in all different colors. He had put in light red, pink, dark red, brown and yellow strips, which were all wound around a white base. He had once told me, when we were sitting by one of the pack's famous bonfires, what each color symbolized.

As I absently fingered the bracelet, the bonfire relayed in my mind as clearly as if we were there once again.

_**I climbed out of my trusty red truck, but before I could even close the door, Jacob was by my side and lifted me up into a bone crushing hug.**_****

_**"Bout time you got here! I was about to send out a search party!" Jacob mocked. I smiled into his neck, and held him tightly.**_****

_**"Well, you know how it goes, a girl's gotta be fashionably late and all," I joked. Jake carefully set me down and cocked his eyebrow in amusement while letting his eyes trail over my not-so-fashionable outfit.**_****

_**I had to admit, feeling his eyes on me like that was...a pleasant feeling. For some unknown reason, I still had my hands on his hips. A huge part of me didn't want to remove them just yet; I still needed to feel him close to me. I watched his lust-filled eyes lower to my hands, then up to my own.**_****

_**Jake gave me a mischievous looking smile and took my hand. "C'mon, Bells, they are waiting to get started."**_**  
**_**My heart leapt as his warm hand curled around mine. I felt his soft fingers tangle through and after mine, I swear it was the best damn thing I'd ever felt.**_****

_**The pack and their imprints sat around the fire cuddling and kissing on logs and pieces of driftwood. Jake and I sat on our driftwood, and we watched silently as Seth and Jared wrestled in the sand, trying to prove their strength to the ladies that had been invited. I felt Jake's hands snake around my waist as I sat nestled happily between his legs. I was in such a state of elation, I never wanted his hold on me to loosen up.**_****

_**I let my head rest against his firm shoulder, and sat there quietly watching the rest of the world go by. I wasn't sure how long I'd been in my own little world when Jacob's chin found its way onto my shoulder.**_****

_**"You looked so peaceful, I thought you were asleep for a while there" he chuckled and pulled me a little closer.**_****

_**"No, not asleep, it's just nice here, it's peaceful. I feel like I'm part of a family when I'm with you guys." Jacob's head shot up, and he turned my face towards him.**_****

_**"Bella, you**_** are **_**part of this family. You're my best friend and you mean the..." He suddenly stopped himself; I could see the conflict in his eyes as he looked down at the sand. I couldn't help but feel a tinge of pain stab through my heart. I wanted him to say I meant the world to him. I wanted him to say he loved me.**_****

_**"Er...I mean...it's good to have you here because you can keep me sane..." he cleared his throat and looked up towards the guys. "Those douchebags are a handful, so having you here...helps...**_**a lot" **_**I smiled. I could sense how much he wanted to go out there, but stayed here with me instead.**_****

_**"Jake..." I whispered softly.**_****

_**"Hmm?" he turned his face to me. I couldn't help but smile, he was so beautiful.**_****

_**"Go, I can tell you're dying to show those goofs your mad fighting skills..." We both laughed. "So go, I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere" he smiled and looked lovingly into my eyes. In that second I thought he was going to lean down and kiss me, my whole body slightly leaned in towards him as a natural reaction. His eyes gazed at my lips and his face leaned closer. I could hardly breathe, my heart was hammering away against my rib cage, I blocked everything else out except Jake. My Jake.**_****

_**We were less than an inch away from answering each other's prayers when Jared hollered for Jake. I smiled and blushed slightly. I was devastated I didn't get to kiss the love of my life, but I knew when it did happen, not a thing in the world would stop us.**_****

_**A while later, I sat with Kim, Jared's imprint and Claire, Quil's imprint, while Jake, Jared, Quil and Embry continued to quarrel about who was stronger. I smiled. Hands down, I knew Jacob was the strongest one, but watching him prove it was entertaining.**_****

_**I was suddenly snapped out of my Jake haze by Kim asking me a cunning question. "So Bella, you and Jacob seem to be getting on quite well..." Why did I sense a double meaning behind that?.**_****

_**"Er...well...yeah, he's my best friend..." I wasn't really sure how to answer that statement. I wanted to say 'yeah, I'm completely and totally in love with the dude, and want to kiss him senseless every minute of every day' but I really didn't think that would have gone down too well, so I kept quiet.**_****

_**Kim chuckled evilly. "I bet Leah's doing her bitchy nut in."**_****

_**I felt my hands ball up into fists with anger. I**_** hated **_**that name with such a passion; she didn't deserve to be with someone as outstanding as Jacob. I knew I had hurt him countless times, but I was never downright cruel to him. We always found ways to get past our petty arguments because we meant too much to each other to let something as stupid as that get in our way.**_****

_**Seconds later, I heard several heavy footsteps sprinting towards us. I turned around and saw Jacob giving Kim the death glare. I knew he had heard her little gem a second ago by the look on his face. He was pissed, and getting a man who morphs into a werewolf angry was a bad move.**_****

_**I saw him tremble from head to toe and I immediately knew what I needed to do. He didn't scare me, but I knew he was scared of hurting me. I jumped up and took hold of his hand. As soon as our hands connected, his trembling calmed a little. He looked straight at me and gave me a heart stopping smile.**_****

_**I lead him towards our little piece of driftwood and sat him down. I placed my hands on his cheeks, and managed to get him to look at me.**_****

_**"You ok, Jake?" He grasped hold of my hands and clenched his eyes shut. I knew what he was doing so I stayed quiet and let him calm himself.**_****

_**A few minutes later his shaking had stopped, and his eyes were back to the soft Jake eyes I loved. He took hold of my hands and pulled me into a hug.**_****

_**"You're amazing, that's the first time I've managed to stop myself from phasing just from someone's touch" I smiled. I was happy that my touch had managed to stop his phasing.**_****

_**"Glad I could help" I whispered softly. He smiled at my words and nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck. I may not be able to turn into a giant wolf, or have über hearing, but I could hear his deeper than normal breath as he took in the scent of my hair.**_****

_**"Bells...I'm sorry about Kim, sometimes she doesn't know when to shut up." I pulled out of our little embrace and held his hands. I wasn't going to tell him that hearing that bitch's name had Awakened certain venomous emotions within me. No, he didn't need to hear that.**_****

_**"It's ok, Jake, honestly. If...you like her…and she makes you happy...then...you should...ya know...be with...her." The last part of my sentence came out as a strangled whisper. It would quite literally kill me to see him with another woman, let alone Leah Fucking Clearwater.**_****

_**Jacob sighed and put his warm hands on either side of my face. "Don't you get it, Bells? I don't want**_** her**_**. She's**_** not **_**the one I dream of every night. She's**_** not **_**the one I wish I could hold in my arms every single second of the fuckin' day, and she's definitely**_** not **_**the one I'm head over heels in love with. There's only one woman I will**_** ever **_**want, and she's standing right in front of me"**_****

_**I smiled. He had told me he loved me before, but never like that; that was a full on get-this-through-your-fuckin-head speech.**_****

_**Next thing I knew his lips were softly caressing mine, but before I could even comprehend what was going on, he pulled away. I was a little confused, and if I'm honest, a little pissed! I had wanted a kiss from him for so long, and when he does kiss me, I get a quick peck? What The Fuck!.**_****

_**He must of seen the look of sheer confusion and longing in my eyes and facial expression because he smiled and kissed my forehead. He grasped hold of my hand and gave it a little tug suggesting he wanted to go somewhere a little more private.**_****

_**"Take a walk with me?" I rolled my eyes, as if I'd say no to that! He chuckled and pulled me into him. We walked with our arms linked together. This was nice, being here with him. I felt so at ease. Our time together isn't forced or filled up with awkward silences. We were free, free to be who we wanted. Granted, Jacob had a certain limit to that freedom because he morphed into a giant dog, but right here and right now I'd never felt so...liberated. I felt invincible. I felt like I was made from titanium.**_****

_**A few moments later, we came to the gorgeous rock pool that had a stunning view of the ocean. I loved the water. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the fact Jacob had saved me from drowning a while ago, or the fact that we often took long walks along the shore just to watch the waves dance rapidly together.**_****

_**Either way, I loved it.**_****

_**I felt his hands grasp onto my waist and lift me a little. He set me down on the rock, and motioned for me to move along with his hands. I followed his command and scooted along, allowing room for him to sit.**_****

_**He sat next to me, bringing his legs up to his chest as he folded his arms nicely around them. We both sat there looking out at the phenomenal scene before us. Watching the water crash together was amazing, and unlike anything I'd ever seen in my life.**_****

_**Seconds later he reached back into his jean pockets and pulled out the little fabric bag. Jake sat there playing with it for a moment, then finally turned and looked me.**_****

_**"Bells...I've wanted to give you this...for a while now." He took a deep breath and continued on. "Every time I've planned on giving this to you, something has been in the way or interrupted us, so I kinda figured there would never be a 'right' time. I just need to get my act together and do it." He smiled, and stared intensely at the little bag. I was a little curious, what was in that bag to make him so nervous?**_****

_**"I've kept this in my nightstand for a while. I'm surprised it hasn't disintegrated!" he laughed hoarsely and turned towards me. Jake gently took hold of my hand and placed the bag in my palm. Whatever was in that bag was light as a feather, I could barely feel anything.**_****

_**"Open it and I'll explain the meaning," he smiled and winked at me. I shyly smiled and began untying the black ribbons keeping it secure and safe. Once the bag was open, I tipped the bag upside down and a gorgeous, braided Quileute bracelet fell into my palm.**_****

_**It was absolutely beautiful, and quite literally took my breath away. Jacob was a very talented guy who knew how to work with his hands. The things he could make were mind blowing. I would watch in amazement as he crafted one of his wooden sculptures. He would take so much pride in getting every little detail right, so in the end he would have made one hell of a masterpiece.**_****

_**"Jake...it's...beautiful," I gushed. I was stunned; I didn't know what to say. I'd never been given anything before, so this was amazing. I didn't know what to say next, so I was kinda hoping Jacob would put me out of my misery. As luck would have it, seconds later he began explaining.**_****

_**"That bracelet is my promise to you that, no matter what happens, no matter where we are, what we do, I will love you forever. I can't describe the feelings I have for you, Bells. I just know they are stronger than love; it's like I can't breathe when you're not around. You're constantly in my thoughts. Seeing you each day is like a blind man who sees the sun for the first time. You're like a breath of fresh air in a smoky room, you make me think clearly. You give me the strength to get up each day and fight." He took the handmade jewelry from my palm and began tying it around my wrist. I silently moaned as his delicate fingertips brushed my sensitive skin. His touch drove me wild, yet his intentions were perfectly innocent.**_****

_**"You're probably wondering what all these colors mean, right? I know how curious you get, Miss Swan" He winked at me, and softly rubbed little circles on my wrist.**_****

_**I smiled and nodded whilst putting a stray piece of hair behind my ear.**_****

_**"Ok, I'll tell you. But first you have to promise not to interrupt and let me get this out" He looked and me and waited for my promise. I took hold of his hand and joined our fingers together.**_****

_**"Cross my heart" I gave him a cheeky grin, and he chuckled with amusement.**_****

_**"Ok this one..." he pointed to the light red strip. "This means passion and love. This Pink one symbolizes friendship" He looked up at me as if to make sure I were following, cheeky shit.**_****

_**"This dark red strip means longing and courage, the yellow one means freshness, intellect and the sun" I loved how the yellow one meant the sun. After all, Jacob was my sun, and he warmed up every inch of my world.**_****

_**"Lastly, the main one holding them all together, the color white stands for purity, innocence, perfection and...virginity" He finished his speech. Our eyes met at the word 'virginity' and I felt like that single word had awoken something inside me, something I didn't know existed. In that moment I knew-I think I always had known but that just confirmed it- I wanted Jacob Black to be the one I gave myself too. I wanted him to have every part of me.**_****

The sound of twigs tapping repeatedly against my window brought me out of my beautiful memory. I laid my hand over the stunning piece of jewelry and a content smile appeared on my face, I closed my eyes and watched as images of Jake continued to flow through my mind.

Jake had yet to find out my love for him, as I managed to keep it well hidden. To be honest, I was a little scared. I wanted to tell him so desperately it made my heart ache constantly. Every time I laid my love-sprung eyes on his breathtaking body, I would wish I could walk over to him, grab his soft, russet cheeks and put a stop to our never ending sorrow.

We were both unbelievably attracted to one another. Everybody and their mother could see that by the way the sparks would fly between us whenever we were within close proximity of each other.

Every time I saw glimpses of him, my heart would pound through my chest. I was so sure he could hear the drum thumping against my rib cage, as whenever my heart rate began to escalate, he would simply tilt his head toward me and give that panty dropping smile. I was no pro in sexual feelings, but my god, he made me want to do some rather naughty things to him.

I wasn't used to wearing dresses, but I really wanted to make the effort. I stood before the full length mirror and scrutinized every part of my outfit. I'd spent hours searching the Internet, trying to find tutorials on how to do curl my hair as I had no clue. I then spent another hour browsing for simple, yet elegant, makeup looks. I really didn't know how Jessica and Angela managed to fit it all in. I was exhausted.

This evening, I'd already had a few new experiences: applying my own makeup, doing my hair, those darn tong things are pure evil! I burnt myself more times than I'd care to admit. My neck was now a temporary home to burn marks. As for applying makeup, well now I know why I don't wear it. I made the disastrous mistake of wearing another dress while applying it. I think the dress had more makeup covering it than my face.

I paced in front of my mirror as I prayed I looked halfway decent. I wanted to look nice for him. Ah Jake, the small flutter of wings in my stomach had now blossomed into full blown gigantic butterflies.

I floated over to my desk where I placed my laptop. Jake wasn't due to pick me up for another half an hour. I wasn't sure if it were that fact I was heading out on a date, but I was feeling unusually sentimental. I wanted to go through my desktop photos and gaze at his face, see those gorgeous brown eyes, and his perfectly kissable lips.

I typed in the password and my background popped up. I had a picture of myself, Mike, Ben, Jessica and Angela stood outside a bar in Port Angeles. This was taken on that dreadful weekend where Jake decided I wasn't good enough to be in his life. Those were the hardest two days of my life. Not seeing him drove me insane, and the guys noticed it. Ben and Mike told me I should stop wallowing in my pity and go hang out with them for the night so I did. That was the first time I'd gotten completely drunk. I needed something, anything, to take the edge off his harsh words. I needed to let the alcohol soak up all the venom I heard in his voice. It worked until the morning after when I woke up with a killer hangover, and Jacob's heartbreaking words came screaming back to me like a freight train.

Jacob came to me that night and explained everything. He was extremely worried when I came home swaying from side to side and not able to walk straight. He told me he stayed outside my house the whole night, as he was so worried I would choke on my own vomit. He told me he wanted to be there so if anything happened, he would be at my side in a flash.

I smiled at the memory and clicked onto my photo folder. A full page came up with hundreds of photos. Most were of Jake and I, but there were a fair amount of Jake and the two knuckleheads. He loved those two douchebags like brothers. I admired the bond they had with each other. There was only one man who I shared that bond with, and I was about to go on a date with him. I quickly changed my screen saver to a picture of him standing behind me, with his arms protectively around my waist; looking down at me with smiling eyes and the biggest grin I'd even see graced his face. I was laughing my head off and leaning back onto his shoulder with my head turned into the crease of his neck.

"Bella! Come down here a minute, we need to have a talk!" I jumped a little in my seat and groaned as Charlie's deep voice boomed through the house. I swung around on my chair and pushed myself up. Great, don't tell me I'm gonna get the 'birds and the bees' talk.

JPOV

I could hardly contain my excitement as my paws crushed the dirt into the ground, while I ran through the sea of trees. I, Jacob Black, finally got Bella Swan to agree to go out on a date with me. Granted, it's taken almost two years, but better late than never! The past few hours, I'd been visualizing her more than normal.

I speculated about how she would be feeling. I wondered whether she would be nervous, excited, scared. I certainly knew how I felt, I couldn't wait to get home and get suited up for the big night. I was determined to make this a date she would never forget.

I'd spent the last two days practically living around Sam and Emily's place, getting advice on what to wear and what chicks dig. I knew Bella better than I knew myself ,but it wouldn't hurt to know a little more on the romance side of things.

I had asked Claire and Seth to help me out with the date. I knew exactly what I wanted to do, and exactly where I wanted to do it. And, most importantly, I knew Bella would love it.

"Seriously, Black. Did your balls shrink and drop off?" Quil mocked as we all flew through the forest. I loved the feel of the cool wind whipping through my fur as I ran. Everything on either side of me began to blur from my speed, and it felt awesome.

"Quil, lay off. You can see he's hyped up for his date with the elusive Bella Swan," Embry joked.

"I can't understand why. I mean, fucking hell, Jake, a pale face? I would kinda be on board if she were attractive, but damn! That chick has a face like a smacked ass! If you see her crack a smile, it's once in a full moon," Paul stated.

"I suggest you shut up the fuck up, if you wanna keep your balls," I growled. I tried to remain polite and respectful towards each pack member, but this fuck nut did my head in. He was always so full of himself, and always had an answer for every question. My jaws clenched together as I forced my legs faster. The sooner I was away from him and his asshole thoughts, the better.

"Why? Can't you handle the truth? I'm just saying what all these pussies won't. These pansies hold you in high regard; whereas, I personally couldn't give two shits about you."

My patience was starting to grow thin. I pushed my wolf to its limits to get away from his constant mental harassment. Unfortunately being a wolf had its disadvantages, the main one being no fucking privacy!

"I don't know why you didn't just stick with Leah. I mean, at least the bitch has a little fight in her! Plus she has a fuck awesome rack." The word Leah wound me up tighter than a nun's ass. I hated the witch. She was a two-faced bitch who needed to stay the hell away from me.

Leah was my fucked-in-the-head, psychotic, never-should-have-happened, ex-girlfriend. I don't really know what I was thinking when we became whatever the fuck we were. Oh that's right, I wasn't. I was only with Leah because I couldn't have Bella. Leah was there to make Bella jealous, but it in fact, it turned out the other way around.

After I made the enormous mistake of introducing Leah as my girlfriend to Bella, the love of my life then decided to make me one hell of a jealous fucker and introduce that marshmallow, who became the third wheel on our movie date, as her boyfriend. I swear I had never wanted to phase and rip someone's head off more. How dare that shit think he's good enough for my girl! In fact, how dare he ever think about being with my girl. We were meant to be together, and that slimy little prick was the one holding and kissing her. That wasnot ok with me.

My whole body froze on all fours and darted around. I stood opposite Paul and viciously growled at him, I made sure to bear all my razor sharp teeth to show I meant business. For a minute we were sizing each other up. I could easily take the prick; I was waiting for my opportune moment.

"C'mon, Jakey baby! Big bad Bella's not here to save your whipped ass now is she!" My nostrils began to flare as the steaming hot air flew out my nose and floated around in front of me.

"I'm warning you, shut your mouth before I shut it permanently!" I spat and then bolted towards my intended target, Paul. I was going to make him eat his words, and regret the day he ever spoke bad about my girl. I ran at him so fast the ground began to tremble and shake from my speed. I could hear Quil and Embry in my head egging us on. I was in his face in milliseconds; the asshole can talk shit about me all he wants, but to blatantly disrespect Bella like that, hell no.

"Firstly, Lahote! That 'pale face' just happens to be the sexiest chick I have ever seen. Secondly, you have no idea how much fight Bella has in her! I bet she could shut your mouth!. Thirdly, I wouldn't know whether Leahhas a 'fuck awesome' rack as I can't say I've ever been that interested in looking. The only rack I wanna see belongs to the stunner I'm going on a date with later. And lastly, if you're so fucking hooked on the bitch, date her yourself and leave me and Bella the fuck alone!"

"Well, I wouldn't wanna tread on Jakey boy's precious paws now would I, oh mighty Alpha?"

"Maybe I'm not making this clear enough asshole, getting with Leah was the worst mistake of my life and it willnever happen again. Trust me when I say you would certainly not be treading on my 'paws' as the only thing that kept me with her was every time I looked at her I saw Bella. I am and always will be in love with one person, Bella Swan. Got it, asswipe?"

"Wow, if this is how the pale face makes you react, maybe I should try tapping it myself. You know, then you can have my leftovers." My anger reached boiling point ,and I launched myself at him.

"You go anywhere fuckin' near her and I will rip you to pieces!"

Unable to control myself, I kept lunging towards Paul. My knife-edged teeth darted towards neck, but only came back with mouthfuls of fur. Spitting that out, I put my clawed paw to his throat and watched in amusement as he tried to squirm out from my death grip.

"Not so fuckin' tough now, are ya, dickwad!" The saliva flew out of my mouth as I breathed heavily from our fight. I was nowhere near ready to call it quits-the asshole was going to pay! He pushed me back, and I slammed to the dirt with a loud thud. Snarling, I leapt back onto all four paws and began to circle him as he found his way back up. I had an uncontrollable urge to rip his head clean off his shoulders. Good, Jake had left and was now replaced with a malicious wolf, and he was ready to destroy anyone and anything that got in his way. Trust me, this wolf didn't take kindly to people threatening his loved ones.

We raced towards each other like the speed of light. As soon as I was in good range, I jumped onto my hind legs and flung myself at him, the force of the collision caused us both to lose our balance and roll on the floor. With lightning reflexes, we were both on four paws again. Like true predators, we circled each other, waiting for the perfect opening to attack once again.

I was pumped up and ready to defend Bella's honor, when Seth's boyish voice boomed through my mind.

"Will you two pack it the fuck up? Seriously? How to do you think Bella would feel if she knew you were fighting about her, huh?" I snarled at Paul and looked at him with evil in my eyes. The bastard was lucky Seth was here to save his lame ass, or he'd be non-existent.

"Ah, really, Seth? They were just getting to the good part!" Quil whined, and slumped down on his stomach mumbling something inane in his mind.

"No, Seth's right. I'm not going to risk my first date with Bella just because this prick thinks his opinion counts." I took several deep breaths, and gradually calmed the malicious wolf; I couldn't be an out of control killer when I was around Bells. I was determined to give her the best night of her life and he wasn't going to ruin it!.

Though I was going to have the last word, I stalked towards him menacingly.

"Though I can promise you this: you ever say anything even remotely disrespectful about Bella again, you evenlook at her the wrong way or make her feel awkward or uncomfortable, and I swear I will rip off your pea-sized balls and shove them so far down your throat, you'll be coughing up fur balls for the rest of your goddamned life!" I roared. I was so full of anger I needed to release it ASAP.

With that, I slowly backed away from him, making sure his could see the venom in my eyes. This wolf wasn't messing around.

"I gotta bounce, I have a sexy chick waiting for me." An enormous smile appeared on my face and I sped off towards home. While running, I could hear Quil, Embry and Seth cat calling.

"Don't do anything we wouldn't do!" I smiled and kept running, and then I remembered Seth needed to be at our meet spot tonight; for Bella's surprise.

"Yo, dude! Don't forget be at the spot pronto tonight or I'll hunt your ass down!"

Seth chuckled and shot back. "I'm there, bro. I got it covered!"

Bella's POV

I made my way cautiously out of the haven of my room. I was a little worried about what he was going to say. I really didn't need to have the famous 'birds and the bees' speech. Firstly, Renee beat him to it about six years ago, and secondly, it was just wrong!. I made my way down the first few wooden stairs and silently cursed as they began to creak from under me.

I knew I was being a complete wuss about this, but this was my dad for Christ sakes. I reached the final stair, and slowly crept into the kitchen where Charlie was sitting at the table reading the paper and drinking coffee. His eyes zoomed up and caught my rather cautious ones.

He folded his paper neatly and placed it on the table and gestured for me to sit. Oh crap ,this can't be good, he's asking me to sit down.

I saw his eyes shift quickly around the room, looking for a quick escape route. Oh dear God, save me now.

"Erm...ok...so we... kinda need to...talk." Well yeah, I kinda guessed that. I stayed silent and nodded.

"Obviously you know that you're going on a date with a very...hormonal teenage boy-" I quickly corrected him. "Man, dad. He's a man."

Charlie chuckled and shook his head in disagreement. "No, Bells, he's not a man, just because he's eighteen, does not make him a man, not in my eyes anyways." I wasn't quite sure whether I should respond to that, so I stayed quiet.

"Erm, anyways...as I was saying, you're going on a date with a young, one track-minded teenager, so I feel I kinda need to address it. There's ,er...things that you need to think about about...if your gonna be...physically intimate..." Ok, eww!

"Ok, erm dad...this really isn't necessary...like, really," I cringed and let my face drop into my hands, while he continued to look more and more uncomfortable.

"It's just as embarrassing for me as it is for you, Bells. Trust me ,I'd really rather not be having this conversation with you right now, but I don't want my daughter coming home saying she's preggers by some randy teenager." Oh dear lord! Please stop this constant word vomit!.

"Ok, er...wow thanks for the vote of confidence, dad. Nice to know I'm trusted!. Look, me and Jake are going on a date. We don't plan to be going...there...yet. So you see, there's really no need for you to put us through this mental torture."

"Alright, so... you guys aren't...there...yet, right? And when you do get...there, you promise me you'll take precautions-"

"Whoa, dad, trust me, nothing is going on. I'm a virgin so you can chill!" Ok, I hadn't meant to just blurt that out, but seriously the man was killing me with the speech!. Charlie cringed and covered his ears. I laughed and shook my head. Wow, this was fun!.

"Great, well glad we've gotten that out the way!" He got up, and washed up his coffee cup. Yeah, because now my evening was gonna be so much better!.

"Me too!" I got up and quickly made my exit to my bedroom. Please, Jake, hurry up!

JPOV

I had been at my house for about forty-five minutes. I'd made Billy dinner. Seeing as I wasn't going to be around for most of the night, I thought it was only fair to make sure he was all set and ready to go. I'd swapped and arranged different patrol shifts with the pack; most were happy to change except Paul, but as I was the pack's beta he went along with it.

I then decided to tackle the rabbit. Seeing as I was picking her up, I wanted it to be cleanish. Normally we'd just roll with whatever, but she deserved better than that. After all ,she wasn't one of the pack, she was a lady and she deserved to be treated like one for once.

Luckily I hadn't showered before I took on the colossal mountain that was cleaning my car. I was going to kill Quil and Embry! The amount of shit I found lodged between the seats and in the footwells was nuts!. The rabbit was now squeaky clean and ready to go.

The time was around seven-thirty. I had showered, shaved, gelled my hair, used aftershave, changed my top five times and was now happy with a plain white button down shirt and dark blue jeans. I wasn't sure how long I'd be able to wear the shirt, as being a werewolf my temperature is way hotter than your average man, but I was going to try my hardest not to strip off in front of her...unless she asked for it.

I grabbed my car keys and Bella's book that I'd bought as a gift. I threw on my boots, said goodbye to Billy, then headed toward my car. I was nervous as fuck, but I couldn't let her see that. I wanted her to see the fun lovin', easy going best friend and potential boyfriend guy that I normally was.

I climbed in the Rabbit, turned on the ignition, backed out of my driveway, and headed towards my date's house. Now the nerves were working overtime.


	2. Here the date begins

BPOV

I paced around my room, anxiously biting my nails and chewing on my lip. I'd applied lip gloss around eight times within one hour because I was constantly eating the stuff!. I was so nervous and I had no idea why. I mean, Jacob was my best friend, the one person I could be myself around and...the one person I was hopelessly in love with.

Crap.

I walked back and forth past my window, desperately wanting to see a pair of headlights coming my way. I knew he would be here soon as he never let me down. My heart began racing ten to the dozen, my palms were sweating beyond belief. I constantly checked to see that my hair was still in place, I had no pimples, and that my makeup was not streaky or patchy.

A few minutes later I heard the sound that made my heart jump out my chest. I bolted off the edge of my bed and went a little way towards my window; I didn't immediately run downstairs because I didn't want him to think I was some sort of over excited, clingy potential girlfriend. I saw his rabbit parked up just off our driveway, but he wasn't in the driver's seat; he must be on the porch.

JPOV

I pulled up outside Bella's house and sat in the car for a moment trying to sort my shit out. Fucking hell Jake, you're a man, act like one!. I quickly checked myself one last ,all fine. After grabbing her book, I climbed out the car and shut the door. I took a quick glance up to her room and smiled when I saw the light was on.

I jumped the steps on the porch and landed with a soft thud on the wooden deck. I nervously knocked on the door. After a few minutes, I saw Charlie's figure walk toward the door, plus I heard him mutter obscenities under his breath. Apparently he was watching the Mariners game, and I'd knocked at the worst moment!.

I gulped hard as the doorknob turned and the door flew open. Charlie was standing against the frame with the so-you're-taking-my-daughter-on-a-date look plastered all over his serious features. Should I speak first or should I let him? I wasn't used to all the date rule stuff, as I'd never been on a one before.

I decided to stop being a pansy and be the man Bella needed. I held my hand out and began talking. "Hi Chief Swan." He looked at me, then down at my hand like it was flea ridden. Haha, see what I did there? Smart thinking, huh?.

"Jacob, nice to see you, son." Thankfully he removed himself from the door and shook my hand. Well that's the ice breaker out the way!.

"Er...thanks...Chief...you too." Charlie chuckled at my nervousness, and moved out the way so I could enter. As soon as I crossed the threshold, my senses were attacked with everything Bella: her scent, her cooking, her input on the interior of the house. It's funny, I've been here hundreds of times but I've never really noticed stuff like that.

"Bella! Get your ass down here. Jake's here!" I smiled. It was nice to know she was getting ready for me; The mere thought caused my smile to grow bigger. I knew she would look stunning; that woman could never look bad, not even if her life depended on it.

"S'ok son, you can go through. She'll be down in a few.; although, if I've learnt anything with my dates with women, whenever they say they'll be ready in five minutes, that's code for half an hour." I couldn't help but chuckle-he had a point. Whenever my sisters were getting ready to go out, they always said they'd be five minutes; an hour later, they'd finally show their face.

I went through and sat on the edge of the recliner. Charlie sat opposite me, and continued to stare at me like he was trying to figure out my intentions towards his baby girl.

"Chief..."

Charlie stopped me. "Jacob, you know better than to call me Chief. It's Charlie to you. You make me sound so old when you say that." I smiled,and started my speech again.

"Charlie...I wanted you to know, I think a lot of Bella; to me, she's amazing, I know you're sitting there wondering if I'm gonna try and hurt her. Well, I can assure you, she means far too much to me to even contemplate hurting her. I'd protect her with my life. But you already knew that, right?"

He chuckled and nodded. "You know kid, I have absolutely no worries about you hurting my girl. I've known you your whole life, and I've seen the way you look at her. To be perfectly honest, I'm just glad you two are finally doing something about it!. I mean, I love my Bells, but sometimes she's a little slow on the uptake."

"Gee dad, thanks for that." And there it was, Bella's angelic voice. My eyes shot up and met the source of the beautiful sound.

We both looked at each other like we'd never seen one another before. I'd never felt so lucky in all my life; she looked breathtaking.

BPOV

My nerves were getting the best of me, I could barely stand still. I decided to eavesdrop. I wanted to know what was happening before I went down there so I could prepare myself!.

I heard Jake's gorgeous voice fill up every inch of the house, and soaked through every part of me. Even his voice was sexy!. I smiled and listened as they had the 'Do's and dont's' talk. I was impressed with my dad; he didn't shoot Jake down in flames or have an argument with him about him not being good enough for his 'little girl'. In fact, he was egging us on! He was all for us dating, which made me really happy.

I went back into my room and slipped on my heels. I had practiced for a while to walk in them and looked like I could actually walk in them!. Just before I left, I checked myself one last time. I smiled to myself, took a deep breath, then headed downstairs.

As soon as I reached the last step, I heard my dad telling Jacob that I was a little slow on the uptake. Wow, thanks dad, way to boost my confidence!.

"Gee dad, thanks for that," I commented as I walked into the living room. My eyes met Jacob's and we both stayed engaged for a few seconds until Charlie cleared his throat.

"Er...hey...Bells...you look...be-" My dad unfortunately cut him off, which disappointed me; I wanted to hear Jake's opinion on my outfit, not my dad's!.

"You look gorgeous, sweetheart." I smiled at Charlie as he stood up to look at me better. He brought me in for a hug, which was strange and quite frankly a little uncomfortable. I wasn't used to this fatherly bond he was showing me.

Jacob picked his jaw up off the floor, and smiled at me. He stood up from the recliner, and my heart stopped. I'd never seen him dress like that before, he looked...sexy. I bit my lip and let me eyes wander over his gorgeous body. He was looking at me like his wanted to pin me against the wall and do some very bad things to me, and that kinda excited me.

"Er...dad. Can I have my body back so I can go on my date?"

"Yeah, I kinda need her body," Jake blurted out, I stifled a laugh at the crude statement and watched as Charlie's face went from smiling to 'Ah hell no!' in seconds. I could see Jake was mentally facepalming himself. To ease his pain, I winked at him and tried to get us out of there ASAP.

"So Jake, fancy taking me on our date now?"

He smiled his trademark grin and walked towards me. I noticed he had something in his hand but wouldn't let me see. My mind whirled with questions and guesses as to what it could be.

"Don't worry Charlie, I'll have her back safe and sound." Charlie smiled and nodded.

"You just make sure you do, and have fun!" We both smiled at each other, and Jacob laced his hands through mine; my heart skipped a beat as our fingers touched.

We walked out the house and down to his car when Jacob pulled me in closer and softly whispered. "I have a surprise for you," he grinned and winked at me. That wink sent chills throughout my entire body.

"Jacob, you didn't have to get me anything-" He stopped me and put his finger on my lips.

"Hey, shush...you're my date, I'm doing this properly, so hush those lips." I smiled against his finger and agreed. He walked me to the passenger side of the Rabbit and opened my door.

"Why, thank you," I mocked and smiled at him. He rolled his eyes and let me get in the car. Once I was in, he shut the door and jogged around to the other side. I noticed how different the car looked. He had cleaned it...for me. I blushed and smiled, then waited for him to get in the car.

"You know, I really thought your dad was gonna shoot me in there," he laughed, and started the car.

"Nah, he enjoys taunting you too much to hurt you," I teased. He looked at me with a mock offended look.

"And who says I would have been hurt? Have you seen these pecs? Those bullets would rebound off me, baby," he winked, and began our drive to our destination.

"Full of yourself much?" I joked, and watched as the grin appeared on his face.

"You should know me by now, Bells. I live to make people laugh," he beamed, while keeping his eyes on the road.

"Well, you certainly made me laugh in there! I saw your reaction. That wasn't meant to come out was it?" He chuckled, and blushed a little. I was speechless. I had made the charmer himself blush, score!.

"Yeah, that was a weak moment. Can you blame me?" He looked at me with his eyebrow arched as we sped down the dark lanes. I trusted his driving, so I knew we'd be safe.

"Listen, I never got to finish my sentence back at your house...your dad kinda killed my flow" I looked down at my hands and waited; maybe I'd finally hear his compliment.

"I was going to say..." he turned his face to look at me and took hold of my hand. "You look...beautiful, Bells, you really do." I bit my lip and smiled.

"Thank you. You don't look too bad yourself," I smirked, and watched as he chuckled.

"So, you noticed then?" I saw him looking at me through the mirror.

"Yeah, I noticed. You look...handsome." He grinned once more, and gave my hand a little kiss. I knew that was his way of saying thank you.

The rest of the journey was comfortably silent. I was looking forward to tonight. I just knew we'd have a night to remember.

JPOV

As I drove us to the clearing, I couldn't help but glance over my Bells repeatedly. She looked stunning. I'd only ever seen her in a dress once before, and that was when I crashed her prom. She looked nice then, but now she looked beyond words.

We made little jokes at each other for most of the way, I finally had my chance to tell her how beautiful she looked to which, she surprised me by saying I looked handsome. When you hear that from the woman you love, you can't help but feel a slight boost in the old ego department.

I turned into the lay-by close to the clearing. I couldn't drive any further, so I would carry her to our destination. Before I got out, I wanted to give her, her present.

"Before we go for our date, I wanted to give you your gift." She smiled as I reached behind me to get it. I picked up the book and placed it in her hands. I watched as she slowly unwrapped it. I was like a kid on speed-I wanted to rip it out her hands and tear the thing open!.

She finally opened it, and put her hand to her mouth. I smiled nervously, hoping her reaction was a sign of her happiness over the gift. I watched as little tear drops collected in the corners of her eyes and that made my heart ache.

"How did you know?" I had bought her a limited edition Wuthering heights book, as she had lost her original copy. I knew how much she loved that book; she carried it everywhere.

"Honey, I can read you like a book. I knew you had lost it, so I bought you this." She smiled and took off her seatbelt. I was amazed when she leaned over and softly kissed the corners of my mouth. I couldn't describe the happiness I felt in that moment. I loved the feeling of her lips on mine. She felt like home.

It took me a couple of seconds to register the fact she had instigated the kiss. It was usually me; this was progress!.

I climbed out the car, smiling my head off and ran around to her side. After helping her out I walked us over to the edge of the woods.

"Ok, I'm gonna need you to come here so I can carry you." She cocked her eyebrows, and gave me a 'Say what?' look.

"C'mon I won't bite...unless you ask," I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively. She smiled and walked over to me. I scooped her up bridal style and began running. We flew through the woods. I kept checking she was ok with my speed; she seemed to love it which was comforting.

A little over a minute later we had reached our destination, and I set her down on her heels. She looked at me with a confused look on her face as she saw Claire and Seth stood in the clearing.

"Are we expecting others?" I could hear the disappointment in her voice. I was happy that she wanted to spend time with me...on our own.

"No, Bells they are a part of the date. Trust me, I got it covered." She laughed ,and we walked hand in hand over to the middle of the clearing. I was officially the happiest dude in the world.

BPOV

I was confused at to what Seth and Claire were doing here. I thought it was meant to be just us. I wanted to confess my love for him in private; not with an audience.

We walked over to the middle of the clearing where they had set up a few pillows and a cover-I'm guessing in case I grew cold-but then again, I had Jacob to keep me warm.

"Stay here one moment, hun. I'm just gonna speak to Seth."

I nodded and watched him walk over to his friend. I removed my heels and carefully sat down on the pillow, making sure I'd covered all my...lady parts. The meadow was small and round, and filled with every type of flower known to man. The view here was beautiful, like something out of dreams. I gazed in awe at the magnificent display of multicolored trees. Each tree looked like had been placed on a carpet of color as the flowers began to spiral up around the stumps; trapping them in place. The moon glowed dimly, I glanced up to the star filled sky where a cream disc suspended in the velvet sky. The illuminating rays of the moon began to light up the meadow, like a spotlight on a stage. I watched in amazement as the fluffy, translucent clouds started to dance their way over the it, casting a gorgeous silver organza -like veil over the entire meadow. Whilst I sat on the soft pillows, my nostrils were flooded by a constant scent of Jasmine, Lavender and Honeysuckle. As my curious eyes explored past Jacob, I saw the mist lightly covering the moist grass. I placed a hand out beside my body, and let my fingers hover over the tips of the grass. As I brought my hand back, I could feel the tiny droplets of moisture trickle down my fingers and over my palm.

I felt my heart swell with happiness with the thought that Jacob had chosen this picturesque location to hold out first date. I smiled as I let the romantic atmosphere completely wash over me and submerge me into a world consisting of myself and Jacob.

A few minutes later, Jacob sprinted back to me with a heart warming smile spread across gorgeous face. He sat down behind me and placed his legs around me so I was nestled warmly in between his legs. I shivered a little when I felt his warmth radiate off him and dance over my skin,Jacob noticed and placed both arms securely around my waist. He pulled me into him so I was completely enveloped in everything Jacob.

His warm warm breath tickled my sensitive ear as he leaned down and whispered, "Hope you like it, Bells. Sit back and relax; I'll do the rest." I did as he said, and watched as Seth and Claire began talking.

"Ladies and Gentleman, we are gathered here in the delightful setting of the clearing to act out first class entertainment for a Miss Bella Swan and a Mr Jacob Black". I smiled as he pointed out our names, it made all this feel even more real.

"Sit back and relax as myself and Claire act out some of Miss Swan's favorite scenes from the incredibly awesome Wuthering Heights. I will be playing the part of Heathcliff, while my lovely co-star will play Catherine." I was really excited to watch this. I couldn't believe Jacob had set all this up for me. It was beyond amazing.

As I continued to watch the beautiful scenes unravel before me, my eyes were glued to Seth and Claire. I was practically clinging on to their every word. Seth managed to capture me and drag me into this imaginary world. I couldn't believe how amazingly convincing they both were. They held myself, and even Jacob, in the palm of their hands. It was amazing.

Jacob always knew how to make me smile. The thought that he had put into this was beyond my comprehension. It was romantic to watch Seth portraying Heathcliff, and Claire as Catherine. Wuthering Heights was one of my all time favorite books. Seeing someone acting it out was beautifully romantic, and knowing that Jacob planned this made my heart ache with happiness. As the play went on, I couldn't help but notice the slight irony involved. I found that I was a lot like Catherine. There were so many times when I had thought I was mean and incredibly selfish with Jacob, who was so similar to Heathcliff. Still, it was such a beautiful idea and it made my heart soar.

I was sobbing my heart out when they both finished acting. It was so beautiful, and to think they weren't even professionals was amazing. They both took a bow, and wished us a happy night. I was so blown away. I sat curled up in Jacob's arms for a little while longer.

"You wanna get going or did you wanna stay here a little longer, Bells?"

I smiled into his chest, he was so thoughtful; I fell deeper in love with him with each passing second. I decided now would be the perfect time to tell him my true feelings, and how far my love truly ran for him.

I sat up and turned around so I was sitting on my legs. I took his hand and some deep breaths and started confessing my love. There was no way back now, and I really didn't care. I loved him so much, it's about time he knew.

"Before we go...I have something I need to tell you." My hands were shaking, and my heart was thumping so hard I thought I'd faint.

Jacob's face grew a little concerned and he sat up properly. "What is it, Bells? You know you can tell me anything." I gulped hard and pressed my finger to his lips, I loved hearing his voice, but right now he needed to shut the hell up.

"I've been hiding something from you for quite a while now, and I know it will change things between us. I've been living in a world where all the things I thought were fairy tale stories turned out to be real. My best friend, who is my entire life, turned out to be a werewolf, who then tells me that freakin vampires exist and you only exist to kill them!"

Jacob chuckled and shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't have a care in the world.

"I know that one of your worst fears is you phasing in front of me and hurting me, but I swear to you Jake, I know you. I know how much strength you have, and how you will delay the phase until i'm a safe distance away. I trust you, Jake, with my entire life, I know you'd fight any force that ever tried to hurt me...or us." His eyes shot up when he heard 'us'. I smiled and continued on.

"Ok, here it goes...I'm attracted to you, like seriously attracted to you. I remember how you were scared to tell me about you phasing into a werewolf, because you thought I'd freak out, but to be honest knowing that is kinda...sexy. I love the fact you walk around without a shirt on. I love your short hair," I slowly ran my fingers through his hair, and felt it spring back to place because of the gel he had used.

"I love the fact you have a tribal tattoo-that's also sexy-but the worst thing about all this is the fact I couldn't touch your skin. I couldn't kiss your lips. I couldn't caress every inch of your body. I couldn't show you just how much I'm attracted to you."

He cocked his eyebrow and smirked at me.

"I don't wanna not touch you, kiss you, caress you. I wanna feel all of you. But most importantly, I wanna be the only woman who will ever hold this." I placed my hand over his heart. "Because you're the only man that will ever hold mine." I could see the elation wash over his face, and some tears spring into his eyes. I knew he'd never let them drop in front of me, but it was nice to know I made him feel that way.

"I'm in love with you, Jacob. I have been for as long as I can remember, but I was too scared to do anything about it in fear I may lose you completely. But I can't hide it anymore. I want you in every way possible. If you'll have me...I'm yours."

JPOV

I couldn't believe what I just heard...finally. _Finally_, she admitted she loved me, and she wanted to be with me. To say I was over the moon was a fucking understatement! I wanted to get up and scream at the top of my lungs, 'Bella loves me!'.

She was finally mine. Our eyes connected, and it was as if my world was being turned upside down. Everything around us was fading away, and I felt like there was an invisible rope binding us together. A growing heat began to fill me, and I could think of nothing but my Bella. In this moment, I knew that I would spend forever trying to please this woman, to do anything I could for her love. The gravitational pull to her was intense, and I finally realized what was happening. Not only had I been given the love of the woman I craved, I was given the pleasure of imprinting on her. There was nothing in this world that could take her from me now. Suddenly, my existence didn't seem so miserable as the possibilities for our future started to take form in my mind.

"Jake? I don't mean to rush you, hun, but if you could give me an answer, I'd very much appreciate it." Give her an answer? I'll do more than that!.

I scooted towards her and placed my hand on her cheek, letting my fingertips tangle themselves in her soft, silky hair. I slowly pulled her towards me while leaning my face towards hers. We were less than an inch from tasting each other. I could feel her warm breath brush across my lips. I could smell the scent of her perfume mix in with her shampoo. She smelled delicious.

Just before our lips touched, I wanted to tell her how much I loved her. I looked deeply in her eyes and mustered every bit of strength I had.

"I love you, so much, Bella." She smiled, and let a lone tear fall out of her gorgeous brown eyes. She again surprised me by wrapping her arms around my neck and pressing those sexy lips against mine. I honestly thought I'd died and gone to heaven.

I melted as her tongue swept along my lip. She began to moan a little into my mouth. Hearing her moan made me feel wild. She was moaning because of me, because of our kiss! My mind couldn't help but wonder what her moans would sound like when we made love. At that thought, I hardened and cursed my teenage hormones, She wasn't alone when she said she wanted to feel all of me. I wanted to feel every inch of her, kiss her body all night, make love to her forever. And now I could. We belonged to each other, and not a thing in the world could tear us apart.

A few minutes of us passionately kissing went past. When we both reluctantly broke away from each other, her hands held onto me as I lifted us both up and held her in my arms. I never wanted this moment to end, I could quite literally kiss her forever.

I began walking us back to my car to take her home. When she began kissing me again, I smiled against her lips. This felt so nice, to not have her fighting me. She was giving herself to me, and I was happily willing to take every inch of what she had to offer.

"It's so nice to have you actually kiss me and not fight me." We both chuckled, and she stroked my cheek as I continued to walk.

"I'm making up for a lot of lost time, and I promise you this...I will never fight you again, unless it's play fighting." She winked at me, and I almost growled from her sexual advances.

"As long as you promise not to tap out on me too early. Fight me until the end," I held a double meaning behind that, and she knew it.

"I will forever fight your cute ass." Damn! Where did this Bella come from, and can I get some more?

In no time at all, we were back at my car. The street lamps began to flicker, casting an eerie glow. There were cracks in the road from the constant use of cars. In the distance, I could hear the wolves howl, and the menacing calls from foxes. I saw the goosebumps slowly appear on Bella's arm. I wasn't about to let the woman I loved freeze to death, so I wrapped my arms around her and smiled when I felt her dissolve into me. This was the perfect end to a perfect evening. Everything had gone better than I had planned. The woman I loved told me she loved me, I imprinted on her, and then we kissed like we'd never see each other again. It was perfect.

I set her down on the hood while she put on her heels. She then stood up, and wove her arms around my waist.

"I love you so much, Jacob."

My heart soared from her declaration. My body immediately reacted to hers and I leaned down towards her and pressed my lips onto her. She pulled me closer and deepened our kiss. My shaft was hardening more by the second. I wanted her so goddamn much it was starting to hurt.

I moved us around the car and picked her up while pinning her against the trunk of my car. I could feel her push her body into me, and this time I was the one to moan into her mouth. My hands worked their way up her smooth legs. I noticed one of her shoes had fallen off again, but I ignored it and kept our lips locked.

After a while, I set her down and accidentally kicked her shoe into the middle of the road. I was about to go and get it when she pulled me back and kissed me one more time.

"I'll get it, you open the door." She winked, and stepped beside me giggling her head off. To anyone watching, it appeared as though she was drunk. I opened the door, and chuckled as she tried, and failed, several times to pick up her shoe.

Suddenly, I felt very suspicious. My wolf could sense something was wrong, my protective instincts kicked in, and were now on full alert. I quickly scanned the edge of the woods for any potential threats towards Bella and myself. I listened out for the danger call from my pack, but heard nothing. I looked up and down both directions of the road to make sure it was clear from any oncoming danger, but saw nothing. I had reached the conclusion my buzzing mind was playing tricks on me, and continued to open the door for my girl.

Seconds later, my whole body stiffened in fear as I heard the heart stopping sound of screeching wheels. My head shot up and tried to seek out the source of the chilling sound. I jogged towards to edge of the woods while keeping my eyes on Bella and frantically scanned everything within my range. My heart began to race as my whole body started to race from adrenaline. I was anxious because I could hear the sound, but couldn't see anything. I ran towards Bella as I needed to make sure she was safe; first and foremost, she was my priority. I had to get her out of harm's way.

Just as I reached out to grab hold of her, a car came flying around the bend. It was like I could see what was going to happen. Everything was going in slow motion, but I couldn't stop the inevitable. I fought my body with everything I had to get to her side. I was not going to let this happen! The car swerved from left to right, and kept picking up speed. Bella looked up at me with fear and shock in those beautiful eyes. This couldn't be happening!. Move, legs! Fucking move!. My eyes widened as the car grew inches from her fragile body. I finally gained control over my body, and ran faster than I ever had before.

"_Bella, move!_" I screamed at the top of my lungs. It was like she was frozen in place, her body wouldn't respond to her commands. I reached my hand out to grab her arm when she made a sound that will pierce my heart for the rest of my existence. The headlights tried their best to blind me, but I had to get to her. Bella turned and looked at me, her face absolutely terrified, I managed to grab hold of her arm with my fingertips.

I used all my strength to keep her safe in my arms, I knew if I loosened my grip even for a second there was a chance i'd never... _No!_,I couldn't think about that. I wouldn't even give that thought headspace as I was going to save her!. There's no way in fuckin hell I would ever give up on protecting the woman I loved, I would die before I saw those precious eyes close. My heart was pounding through my chest at the thought of everything that had happened tonight. My head was spinning with frustration that there was so little I could do to protect my imprint, my girl...my soul mate. As she looked at me with tears leaving her eyes, it broke my heart because she knew what what going to happen. I refused to except that this was how it ended!, we hadn't fought through everything just to have some psychotic driver take it all away within minutes of us finally getting what we'd always wanted!. My beautiful angel was right in front of me, I held her in my arms as I attempted to move our frozen bodies from the danger, but as the car moved closer all I could see was how the tires left behind clouds of smoke from the speed. My chest felt constricted from the sheer force I was using to move us out the way but nothing I did worked!. I couldn't just stand by and watch this happen, I had to do something but I had no clue what!. As the tears of fear streamed down both our faces I had never felt so helpless in my life. It was physically and emotionally destroying me to what this horrific scene happen before our eyes. My ears memorized the sound of her rapid heart thump against her rib cage as I prayed with everything I had that this wouldn't be the last night I heard that beautiful sound. I gazed down in her stunning brown eyes and let them capture me and take us to a place where all this was a very very horrible nightmare. Our trembling hands joined for a millisecond so I could treasure the feel of her soft skin penetrating mine. As she looked at me one last time I saw her lower lip quiver with fear and her eyes start to drown from her own tears. I clenched my eyes shut and let my tears break free, I knew I had one last chance to free us from the unbearable nightmare, so I conjured up every single ounce of strength I had in me to lift her out the way but as I secured my grip around her, she gave a heart stopping scream.

"_JACOB!_" she screamed at the top of her lungs, and pushed me out of danger. I tried to stop, but my body just kept tumbling backwards. Where had my strength gone? The love of my life was in serious danger, and I couldn't get to her! I felt the tears leave my eyes as the car roared closer and closer. I sprung up on my feet, and ran towards her. I was milliseconds away; I couldn't be too late! I just couldn't. I had to get to my girl, I had to save her! I just had to!...

"_BELLA!_"


	3. Here Is Where I End

There are rare occurrences in life. One instance of this would be when you think you are about to die. It is as if everything around you spirals into the pace of a snail. The normally fast bustle of a city seemingly turns into a perfect, still picture. I've always wondered what happened to a person when things stood still because they knew life was about to hand them something they couldn't comprehend. I have wondered if you really saw life flash before your eyes. Do you see all the people in your life that matter? While I did occasionally wonder about these things, I never in a million years expected to find out, at least not yet. My questions were about to be answered and I was terrified.

Everything around me had slowed; it was much slower than the pace of a snail. It was like trying to get marshmallow crème to just fall out of the jar-not something you could easily accomplish. My head turned slightly to where Jacob was standing. A look of anguish and terror had materialized on his face. His lips parted and a gargled, undistinguishable sound filled the air around me. I could tell he was trying to run; he was trying to get to me. It wasn't going to work. He wasn't going to save me, not this time. He was my world, my sun, but life isn't always full of sunshine. Not in our world.

As my head swiveled slowly back towards the silver car making its way towards me, the headlights flickered on, practically blinding me. The white light in my eyes began to twist and turn until I was faced with the image of my Jake. He was sixteen again. His now cropped black hair was long once more. He had worn it down they day we met again, after I moved back to Forks to stay with Charlie. His brown eyes had been full of emotion, but I hadn't picked up on that until sometime later. It occurred to me that Jacob had looked older then sixteen when we first met because he had always been so tall. Granted, he had filled out a lot in the time we had known each other. As the vision swirled, I caught a glimmer of the boyish demeanor he held, something that had vanished from Jacob as life handed him bad card after bad card.

The image began to swirl and fade. The distinguished vision of Jake became darker and darker until there was nothing left to see. As hard as I tried, I could not make it return to me. I wanted to cry and to scream because I could not stand to lose sight of my sun. My head turned to where I knew Jake had been before my world turned so slow and virtually immobile. The white light reappeared and momentarily blinded me before I saw him still trying to run, only having moved about an inch in the time I had been dwelling on the memory of our first meeting. I felt wetness on my cheeks, and knew that a tear had managed to escape.

My head went back towards the blinding white light because it broke my heart to see the look on his face. He knew deep down he couldn't get to me in time, but still he tried. I know I mean the world to him and that he will forever try to save me from myself, and anything else that ever threatens to cause me harm. Sadly, this wasn't one of the times in which he would succeed. A part of me wished he wasn't here to see what was inevitably going to happen to me when the world regained the normal speed in which it operated.

My vision began to shift once again. The white light began to swirl and dance before me as it molded into another memory.

As the images swirled I could make out the start of a house, and then suddenly it was clear as day. The house was small and made of wood with a dull red paint which sort of made it resemble a barn. I could see Jacob waiting for me on the porch, like he knew I was coming before I had even decided it. Then again, my truck wasn't exactly silent. I could still him calling out my name with a massive Jacob smile, one that would come to light up my world. I couldn't help the tiny smile that had appeared on my face because of his infectious happy nature. It was then that I had really noticed that he was changing. His body was filling out, and he was slowly becoming more and more of a man.

I'd grown accustomed to Jacob's hair being pulled back when I saw him, but this time it was down, much like the first time we had met. It was beautiful, so silky and smooth looking. I nearly reached out to touch it, but I stopped myself. At the time, I didn't have the right feelings for that kind of intimate gesture, though I wondered if someday it could be possible. As he pulled me into a hug, I realized he had had another growth spurt. He had promptly informed me that he was now standing tall at six foot five. We had gone inside and spoke with Billy for a few moments before Jake and I had made our way back to his garage. It was the first time I had laid eyes on his Volkswagen Rabbit. I remember faking interest as he happily rambled on about it. Finally, the topic of the motorcycles in the back of my truck came up. Jake had seemed incredibly interested in helping me fix them up. Though I knew it was because he wanted to spend time with me- it wasn't exactly hard to figure out-though I was slightly guilty of egging him on without truly thinking about what I was doing.

The images began to swirl and I mentally cried out for them to stop, to let me continue living in this one. This memory was where it had all began for us. Those bikes had been the catalyst that brought us together in ways that I would have thought impossible back then. More tears slowly trickled down my face as I stood motionless. The feeling of being unable to do anything hurt. Each time the memory ripped away, regardless of how hard I fought to keep it, felt like a piece of my heart was being ripped violently away along with the visions I longed to see. One by one, each memory came and left me, taking another little piece of me with them as they faded away to nothing.

Visions of Charlie and Renee came and went. My mother's crazy ways always brought a small smile to my face. Even though I felt like the parent most of the time, she was still my mother and I couldn't recall the last thing we had even said to each other. Another piece of my heart ripped out. Charlie's attempt at cooking breakfast a few days ago filtered in. I had never really though anyone could burn eggs, but he sure could. The image in my mind of his confused face made me want to smile and cry all at the same time. Poor Charlie, who would take care of him if I didn't live to see another day? Who would cook for him, who would make sure he wasn't clogging his arteries with grease filled foods? The thought of leaving him alone took a large chunk of me away.

My mind swirled back to Jacob. The memory of my attempt at cliff diving alone came forward. I had been so stupid that day. It was obvious the weather was turning, and the water at the base of the cliff was black and angry as it rolled around. Despite this, I had let my dark place win, and launched myself from the cliff. The currents had been strong, and after a few seconds of being knocked around beneath the surface, I had lost all sense of which way was up and which was down. Lucky for me, Jacob had been witness to my idiotic decision and managed to come to my rescue again. He bravely fought the enraged waters and pulled me to shore. Though the situation was dire, he probably took a slight pleasure in giving me mouth to mouth. I'd gasped for air as I stared into his angry and pained eyes. Water dripped down his face and made him look so handsome. I vowed in that moment to try and not make such stupid decisions in the future. The memory began to blur and I wanted to scream yet again. The tears began to sting my burning cheeks and my eyes felt swollen and pained. I felt as if I could not take any more of my memories being ripped away. My heart was almost gone.

Almost on cue, another memory came spiraling in. I was standing face to face with Sam Uley and his little gang. My anger had been building for some time. He made my anger seethe because he took my sun from me, he was taking my Jake. Vaguely, I remember yelling and screaming at him. Paul, one of his little gang, had angered me and I couldn't control my hand from flying through the air. The moment it connected, the stinging sensation in my palm had indicated I made a bad decision. He began to shake violently, and I vaguely heard the voice telling me to run. As I backed up, I saw him explode, the shreds of his clothes flittered through the air, and my eyes took note of the unnaturally large wolf standing in his place. Sam and the rest of his gang seemed slightly at ease with what had just happened. I turned and ran back towards Jake's house. He was running towards me and I had told him to run. He kept coming. As I tripped and landed facing Sam's gang, Jake soared over me. As he did so, his clothing became shreds, and a large brown wolf landed in a crouch in front of me.

My heart was about to beat itself right out of my chest as I tried to process everything. I watched as Jacob and Paul circled each other before they lunged and attacked, rolling off into the woods, obscuring themselves from my vision. Sam had ordered two others to take me somewhere, and went chasing after the two wolves. My mind reeled as I had suddenly realized that my Jake would protect me with his life if he had to, not that I thought it would really come to that. As my imagery began to fade, I thought of the irony in the current situation.

Jacob Black would do absolutely anything to make sure I was alive and well. He would do whatever it took to make sure I was happy. He had saved my life so many times before, always there picking me up and putting me back together. Whether it was saving me from the stormy waters, a crash on our bikes that I had stupidly decided on, or whether he was just saving me from myself. He had already endured so much in his life. Jake had lost his mother at a young age, and his sisters left him to deal with his father in a wheelchair. They got out of this place, but that was something Jake would never be able to do. He was bound to La Push because of the stupid gene that caused him to transform into a giant wolf to protect his people. His choices were taken and he would forever have to deal with that, and here I was, possibly about to be taken from him. He wanted to save me; he didn't want me to be taken from him like everything else had been.

Yet here I was, standing in the middle of dimly lit road with a car speeding towards me. Jacob was still moving so slowly. He would never be able to get to me in time, and I could not move myself from this spot. Whether it was from fear or just a reality I couldn't comprehend, I was stuck. All I wanted was to be saved, but it wasn't going to happen, not this time. It dawned on me that if I wasn't the one standing here, waiting to face my impending doom, it would be Jacob.

In my short time on earth, I had come to understand what it means to love someone unconditionally. Love isn't just a feeling; it's an experience that will leave you forever changed. You would do absolutely anything for the person who holds the key to your heart. I had held the key to Jake's for the longest time, and that was why he was so willing to constantly be my savior and my sun. Even though I had known for a little while that I was completely in love with him, it hadn't fully dawned on me what that meant. Standing here, staring into his fearful eyes and watching his attempt to get close enough to save me, I finally understood the meaning of doing anything you could for the one you love. Here, in this moment, I was willing to accept my fate. I was willing to risk everything for him, like he had done for me so many times before. Even if that meant that I would have to give my life in order to save his.

My heart shattered in my chest as I thought about the reality of what was happening. Soon the world around me would return to its normal pace and that car was going to plow right through me. Jacob was going to see every single moment of what was about to happen. He'd been waiting so long for me to come around, and now that I had, he was possibly about to lose me. I'd uttered the words he'd wanted for so long tonight, and now I wished that I had done it sooner. I wished that I had cherished what I had long before this. My heart kept breaking as my tears fell. My eyes were glued to the spot in which he was moving so slowly. He was only about two inches closer to getting to me. Something that wasn't going to happen, he was too far and the car was too close. My heart was pretty much gone. I felt so cold and completely devastated, but I was ready for what was coming. For once in my life, I was ready.

The sound of his garbled voice was still filling the air, and I knew it was my name. He was screaming for me to move. I didn't have to fully hear him to understand. Even in such an impossible predicament, he was still trying to be the one to do the saving. Poor Jacob, it was killing me to look at him, knowing that he was about to witness something that would turn his world upside down. Closing my eyes, I silently prayed that this would be over soon. I couldn't take standing here and waiting any longer, I wanted the pain and apprehension to end. I wanted life to continue on at a normal pace.

Thinking back, I realized that this kind of moment truly was a rare occurrence. I really felt like I could be living my last moments, inhaling my last few breaths, and seeing the most important person in my life for the last time. My surroundings were moving so incredibly slow, and I felt like hours had passed, when it was really only seconds. I could truly see a fast paced area becoming as still as a painting in this moment. My musings about what would happen were being answered. It was true, the fleeting images of your loved ones and those important flash before your eyes. Things you wouldn't normally understand become so clear in your mind. For me, the clarity came in the form of my love for Jacob Black. My body ached to be near him, but maybe things were going to be better this way, maybe this was all part of some bigger plan for his life. I wasn't a religious person, but I found myself silently praying to the God I don't believe in. All I wanted was for Jake to be happy, to have a good life, with or without me. I wanted to forever be a part of it.

Things around me began to suddenly spin, and the blinding white light was back. My eyes refocused on the headlights of the speeding car that was beginning to regain momentum. I could hear Jacob screaming my name, but was unable to turn my head to see his distraught face. Something inside of me wanted him to trip so that he would not fall witness to what was coming. Every ounce of my being hoped that something would happen so that he missed this. I couldn't stand the thought of him forever reliving this in his mind, something that my Jacob would surely do if this ended as badly as I felt it would. As the world came back in full swing, I heard my name being yelled again. I knew he was running as fast as he could but it wasn't enough.

Suddenly, it was like I had become an innocent onlooker watching a tragic tale unfolding. Jacob was sitting on the ground, pulling my bloodied and broken body into his arms. He was openly crying and I could hear his sobs ringing in the air as he cradled my head against his chest. My blood was beginning to stain his nice white shirt. The red stood out, even in the dark night. His tears were falling onto my cheeks, mixing with my own salty liquid. He used his right hand to brush the matted and bloody hair from my face. I could feel the overwhelming pain racking my body, but none of it mattered. What truly mattered was that I was being held in Jacob's arms, and he was whispering how much he loved me over and over again. He was promising that I would be okay, that I had to be. I felt sadness overrun my emotions when he said he wasn't sure he would survive without me.

As I continued on with this strange out of body experience, I could see several people nearby watching. A woman had her phone to her ear and was crying. I assumed she made the call to 911. In the very far distance, I could hear the faint hum of sirens, but they were still a little ways away. As I watched the heartbreaking scene continue to play out, I needed to look away because it was becoming too surreal for me. That was my bloody body he was cradling, that was my blood staining the pavement and his clothing. As I felt like I was going to hyperventilate, I turned away and looked at the ground. My heart completely shattered as I crouched near the side of the road and reached out to something that I could not pick up, no matter how hard I tried.

Tears were falling and I wanted to scream at Jacob to come pick this bracelet up. He had given me this beautifully woven piece of jewelry as a symbol of the love he possessed for me. I had slipped it on with pride and silently promised myself to never be without it. It was a promise that I had already broken because it was now on the side of the road, forgotten by both Jacob and I. My fingers kept trying to grasp it, but without any luck. It was causing me pain knowing I could not touch it, could not feel it, and that I could not tell someone to come and pick it up. The intense feeling of pain ran through me as I fell on my knees. My shaking hands came up to my face to wipe at my wet cheeks. When I pulled them back, they were covered in a warm red substance. Blood.

I managed to get back up on my feet and look back to the unfolding tragedy. I was still cradled in Jacob's arms, coughing blood now. My eyes looked like they were losing the emotion normally housed in them. I could feel myself fading, and listened as I whispered that I would forever love Jacob between the coughing and gasping for air. His tears began to fall quicker as he gently shook me, yelling for me to stay with him, yelling at me for trying to leave him. It was breaking every ounce of my being to witness this from the outside. The sirens were no longer distant and I could see the flashing of the lights as it they approached, but I wasn't so sure they would make a difference. I continued to watch as my eyes slowly began to close, and I could see that my chest was rising and falling a lot slower than it should be. My hand came up to my face and the sight before me began to fade. It dawned on me that I was fading in more than just one way. Slowly Jacob became a blur of dark colors before my entire world went black.


	4. Here I Wait

_A/N: So sorry for the wait. I had major writers block with this, though luckily I have a fan-friggin-tastic co- writer and beta that pulled me through! So this is dedicated to those top class chicks!_

_Also a shout out to Dancingbarefoot! Thank you so much!_

_Chapter 4. Here I Wait._

Terror.

Panic.

Dread.

Horror.

My shattered heart, mind and soul were caught in a violent fight as each emotion I felt kicked, punched and dragged me down. Everything happened so fast, like a blur. My mind couldn't comprehend what had happened. I couldn't understand why my beautiful Bells was lying, fighting for her precious life, in my arms.

Blood.

There were blood splattered everywhere.

The tears fell from my eyes uncontrollably. She didn't deserve this! She didn't deserve to be lying in the middle of the road, her body broken and shattered to was blood spilling from her mouth, and salty tears staining paths down her cheeks.

I felt it; I felt the pain she was going through. I felt every result of the car's impact. Her fragile body propelled so far up in the air, it crashed to the road with enough force that the ground trembled.

I yelled. I pleaded with her to fight, to stay with me. I needed her to keep her eyes open, her lungs inhaling and what I had been fighting so fucking long for: to keep her heart beating.

To stay alive.

Bella's chest heaved as she fought with everything she had to stay with me. I leaned down and wiped the blood-matted hair from her eyes, and tried everything I could to get her to keep going - to keep living.

"You stay with me! You will not leave me!" I ordered, and choked through my tears.

I received no response.

I tried my best to shield her from the sharpness of the wind, and the droplets of water tumbling from the sky. Each excruciatingly quiet moment that dragged past tore me apart. My entire world was falling to pieces around me and there was absolutely nothing I could fucking do but keep her protected and warm.

I carefully wrapped myself around her body, not daring to touch her in case I inflicted more pain. I cradled her head to my chest and whispered words of love and commitment softly into her ear.

"Me and you, we're gonna have a beautiful life. This time next week I'll be feeding you grapes in bed, while we laugh and joke about how fucked up all of this was. Charlie and Billy will be reminding us constantly to keep our hands to ourselves, but we know that will never happen. Never." A tear rolled down my cheek as I spoke of all the wonderful things we were yet to experience.

"We're going to scare everyone by how fast we're moving in our steamy relationship, and our constant need to be around each other. I will quickly become top five in Charlie's most wanted list for spending too much time with his beautiful girl." My tears continued to fall.

"A few months down the line, if I can wait that long, we'll move in together and argue constantly about the toilet roll not being replaced. Then I'll come home and whisk you off your feet and show you how much I love you, over and over again.

"We'll have the perfect house, with the white picket fence and blue shutters on the windows. Then a little later, you'll come home from work and be greeted with the amazing aromas of my awesome homemade cooking. I'll greet you my normal way, with an extremely passionate kiss, take your coat, and if you're good, maybe even a foot massage," I chuckled through my tears.

"We'll sit down to a beautiful candlelit dinner, giving each other flirtatious looks across the table, trying our hardest to not throw the stuff off, and get down and dirty. Then, a short while later, I will get down on one knee, and ask you to make an honest man out of me." I forced a smile through my unbearable pain.

"We'll have the most amazing, beautiful wedding." I stopped to wipe away the water from her eyes, and softly kissed her bloodied lips.

"Then we will have two fuckin' beautiful children, who will look exactly like you. They will have your amazing personality, stunning looks and my awesome wit. Of course, our son will inherit my awesome muscles and wicked speed," I joked, trying to get a reaction out of her.

Nothing.

Looking down to my best friend, soul mate, love of my life and imprint, I wiped the tears from my eyes so I could see her clearly. Her beautiful eyes were hidden from the world as she lay in my arms, the wind harshly blowing the strands of her hair that had escaped the sheer amount of blood leaving her body.

"Come on, baby. Please...PLEASE...just keep fighting-" My voice broke and I couldn't continue my plea. I just couldn't consider the fact that she might not be with me. I couldn't do it; I _wouldn't._

The next few agonizing moments were a blur. The paramedics arrived. They blocked off the scene, explaining it prevented any further accidents from happening.

They then tried, and failed, to pry my glued hands away from my baby.

They had absolutely no chance. There was no fuckin' way I was letting my girl go. Wherever she went, I followed, right behind.

I felt a soft pair of hands pat my shoulder, and a gentle voice flowed with the wind. "Sir, I'm sorry but I need you to stand back so I can assess her injuries." I shook my head vigorously and held my Bells tighter.

After a few more failed attempts to separate our bodies, my patience began to wear thin. They didn't fuckin' understand! She was my whole world! There was no way I was letting her go. Never! My jaw clenched and my hands balled into fists.

"Look, I'm not letting her go! So get the fuck off my back and help my baby! She's hurt and she needs your help, so do your fucking job!" The woman flinched and took a step back.

"Sir, we understand you're upset, but-" the male paramedic spoke.

Through gritted teeth, I glared viciously at him and growled. "I. Said. Do. Your. Fuckin'. Job."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I watched in disbelief as both paramedics buzzed around, making sure she was fully immobilized before they moved her. They placed a thing called a neck brace around her neck and carefully placed her onto a long spine board to protect her back and keep it in line. They then placed her onto a stretcher.

After a few more grueling seconds of watching them carefully maneuver her body, they loaded her into the ambulance, and secured the bed so it wouldn't move during transit.

I bolted into the back of the ambulance and sat on the seat opposite her body. She was so still, so small. I took hold of Bella's hand as gently as I could, and prayed with everything I had that she made it out of this horrific state.

As the ambulance began to move, I watched the scene before me play out as if I were viewing it through somebody else's eyes. It didn't feel real. Everything was happening so fast, my brain felt like it had shut down and refused to take in anymore information.

The female paramedic took out a clip board and began to ask a bunch of weird-assed questions.

"Hey sweetheart, can you hear me? Do you know where you are?"

No response.

I began to feel the bile rise up my throat as my Bells lay on the stretcher perfectly still.

I watched protectively as she then began to poke Bella behind the ears. A growl erupted from deep inside my chest. I knew I had to just shut the hell up and let her do her job, but I could feel the pain she was inflicting on my Bells and that was NOT fuckin' ok with me!

"_What _the hell are you doing!" I hissed through gritted teeth.

"Sir, please calm down. I'm checking her pressure points. This enables me to assess just how much she is aware of. If she feels pain, she will automatically flinch or react." She continued to check her pressure points.

"We need her to react to the pain. This will rule out the possibility of concussion or paralysis," she was all fucking gobbledygook to me.

No response.

My heart began to pound fiercely as Bella lay, unmoving.

_C'mon baby, just move one tiny finger for me, please?_

The woman began to assess Bella's body from head to toe, checking her airway, circulation and breathing.

She talked Bella through everything she was doing; she said it would give her a sense of reassurance. It helped me a lot too.

"I'm now measuring and recording her vital signs," she placed her index finger over Bella's pulse point then continued to check for respiration and blood pressure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bella had been unconscious the entire ride, and quite frankly it was scaring the shit out of me. I prayed over and over again; I made bargains. I promised I would treat my Pack brothers better if she were brought back to me alive and well, but... still nothing.

The ambulance came to a grinding halt, and my wolf sensed doctors and nurses buzz around waiting to take care of my Bells. The paramedics had called through to alert the Forks Hospital to an imminent casualty.

The ambulance door flew open, and the staff removed the bed from the vehicle. I was being shoved out the way, left, right and center. It pissed me off beyond belief, but I had to bite my tongue and let them take care of her.

The doctors began to communicate with words that I didn't even know fuckin' existed.

They then wheeled her bed through to the Trauma Unit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Although I had only been in the hospital for a little over fifteen minutes, it felt more like I had been there for years. I was desperate for any information on my Bells' condition, but the fuckin' doctors refused to tell me anything because I wasn't "immediate family. "

Bullshit!

How much more immediate could I be?! She was my imprint, for God sake, the reason I stayed on this God forsaken planet. The girl lying on the hospital bed, fighting for her life, was my everything. Everything!  
Granted, they obviously had no clue that an 'imprint' actually existed, and they would never find out, but all the waiting around to hear what her diagnosis was fuckin' killing me.

Another ten minutes later, and I had become extremely agitated. My wolf begged-demanded-for release from my broken body, but there was no way in hell I was leaving her side. I would stay in that hospital until my girl opened her beautiful eyes, and graced the world with her angelic voice.

As I paced outside the Trauma Unit, it dawned on me that I hadn't contacted Charlie.

Fuck!

That was going to be a conversation from hell. How do I tell a father his daughter was in hospital fighting for her life, when I had PROMISED I would bring her home safely?

What do I say when he asks how it happened?

How would I keep him together when I could barely keep myself from falling apart? My glue was the woman in that room, and without her I would crack and break into a thousand pieces.

I dragged my heavy body towards the nearest pay phone and slowly, hesitantly, picked up the receiver. I had to be strong and step up to the challenge; Bells needed me and, by God, I was going to be there for her. Absentmindedly, my fingers began to dial their house number, and then I heard a loud ringing noise.

"Swan residence, Charlie speaking," Charlie answered.

I swallowed hard and slowly opened my mouth to speak. "Charlie, it's Jake,"

"Oh hey son, everything ok? Are you and Bella on your way home?" Fuck, how do I say this.

"Charlie...there's...there's..." I hesitated.

"Spit it out, son. I don't have all night," he joked, completely unaware of the seriousness in the situation.

I looked around him for help, anything to just help him ease those next few words.

"Charlie, something's happened to...Bella."

Charlie's POV

My blood ran cold, and my legs gave out underneath me.

My worst fear had come true.

My baby was in hospital. She had been hurt, and I had no clue to the seriousness of her injuries.

"Where are you?" I demanded.

I was now on autopilot. The father in me wanted to break down and cry at the mere thought of my only child in hospital, but the Chief in me was now demanding answers.

"Forks Hospital, the Trauma Unit-"

I cut him off before he could finish his sentence; I didn't want to hear anymore.

I needed to BE there.

"I'll be right there." And with that, I let the receiver fall from my hand, not bothering to put it back, and ran to the aid of my baby.

Bella's POV

I had no clue what was going on. Why I was in this place, and why couldn't I wake up?

I knew I had been hit, and quite severely, but I had to make it out of this. Right?

The entire night had been a whirlwind of emotions. Jacob and I finally had our dream. We had each other. I was his and he was mine, imprint or no imprint. That was all I ever wanted, but unfortunately it had taken me a little while to finally realize that fact.

I loved that man with every piece of my heart; I would do anything for him to show him how much he truly meant to me.

I would die for him.

Jacob's POV

I couldn't do anything; I was barely functioning. My entire being wanted to be in that room, holding my girl's hand. I needed her to know I was here, and that I wasn't leaving, ever.

As I sat, waiting anxiously in the family room, I just wanted to cry. Why had this happened? We weren't supposed to be here. Bella wasn't supposed to be hooked up to life support machines fighting for her damn life!

It should have been me, at least I would have healed. What if she didn't...heal?

My cruel mind wandered back to the clearing where we were earlier tonight, where she had confessed her love for me. Hearing those words...those three beautiful words that flowed so effortlessly from her mouth, it was the most breathtaking thing I'd ever heard in my life. Hearing the woman you love say, 'I love you'...nothing compares.

Another moment later, I couldn't stand anymore. My heart and soul couldn't take not knowing what was wrong with its other half. My wolf demanded to know what had happened to his imprint; I NEEDED to know what had happened to my best friend and the love of my life.

I stood slowly and dragged my body towards the waiting room door. My trembling hand gripped a hold of the door handle and hesitantly pushed it down.

I was scared, scared that if I left that room everything would come crashing down on me. Terrified that a member of the hospital's staff would hold vital information from me because I wasn't related to her.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, willing myself to get my shit together, and then pulled the door open.

"Where is she?! Where is my baby girl?!" A familiar voice demanded.

"Sir, please calm down and tell me who you are looking for?"

"My daughter, Isabella Swan..." my ears didn't hear the rest of his plea, I knew what I had to do.

I walked towards Charlie's distraught voice. When I turned a corner, I saw his worn out figure towering over the reception desk.

"Charlie..." I spoke, no more than a whisper. His head snapped toward me, and in seconds he was standing in front of me.

"Jacob, please, tell me what's happened?! Why is my baby in here?!" he cried as his hands gripped and shook my shoulders.

I couldn't answer his plea as I had nothing. I tried to open my mouth and speak, but nothing came out. I slowly looked up at the man who looked completely broken. His face had lost its usual color, his eyes were bloodshot from stress and tears, and the thing that finished my broken heart was when I looked into his eyes, I saw my angel staring back at me. I had never realized before, but now in my time of need, I saw it: she was here, my baby was here with me, by my side.

"We...we were on our way back and her shoe...her shoe-"

"What does a damn shoe have to do with why she's in here!" he roared. Normally I wouldn't have taken that, but considering our circumstances, he had every right to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger.

"We were kiss- kissing and her shoe...it fell off..." I could barely continue as I remembered the moments of magic before what had felt like a lifetime of loss.

"Jacob! Please! I need to know!" he cried louder.

"I accidentally kicked her shoe into the road. I swear I never thought anything of it, Charlie. The road was clear. There was nothing but silence around us. There was no sign of any oncoming danger. I would have sensed it...I know I would've." I began to doubt my wolf senses as my mind went back to the moment just before that...that fuckin' car came into sight. Why hadn't I heard the screech of the wheels when I heard pointless things like owls hooting as clear as day? Why couldn't I smell the burning rubber stench, yet Bella's scent completely engulfed me?

Why couldn't I protect my imprint?!

The Culprit's POV

The drive down the long, winding country lanes was tedious, but I craved the distraction. I already knew what was happening as I drove. That filthy leech-loving paleface would be all over him, touching him with her disgusting cold hands, her treacherous heart skipping a beat as they gazed at each other.

It was revolting...enough to make me sick.

Why wouldn't Jake realize that what he'd had was so right for him?

How could he not see what he gave up to be with _her?_

Why couldn't he see she would just play him and lead him on, like she had every other fuckin' time?

Then she would run back to Sir Sparks-a-lot and the Fuckin' Fang Clan, and play happy leech families with them.

It all made me sick, and there was nothing I could do to escape it. Even with the Pack, earlier on that morning, he was shoving the fact that he had a date "with the sexiest girl he'd ever seen" in our faces.

I didn't want to hear that!

I couldn't stand the fragile little freak as it was, but now I had to deal with his on the minute, every minute, news flashes?

I don't think so.

I did the only thing I could do. I phased back to human form, and ran to my only means of freedom: my car.

The feel of the cool leather beneath my bare legs made me want to purr from satisfaction. Yeah, now I sounded like a fuckin' cat!

The smooth vibration of the car humming beneath me made me smirk. I was going to push this baby to the limits, test how fast she could go, see whether the brakes would work.

Now, as I drove, I felt a sense of independence wash over me. I needed this; I needed to escape the constant bashing from the Pack the persistent piss taking. I just needed to be free.

As I drove I pushed my foot further down on the gas pedal, making the car push forward even harder. I wanted to feel nothing but speed. I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs from the speed.

I wound down my window and smirked as the cool, night air whipped around my face.

That was the feeling of living, not battling some fuckin' vampire clan...even though that was fun.

My car flew down the middle of the road, not really giving a shit whether there were oncoming cars. I was in my element, and there was no way I was moving for anyone.

My speed had hit 70, and to me that wasn't enough. The car was teasing me, flirting with me. I saw a long, straight piece of road ahead of me, and decided to push the pedal to the floor.

Tree after tree flew by me so fast; they were nothing but mere blurs. The lines separating the roads had blurred too, and I could no longer tell which was which. In this distance I saw several flickering lights, perhaps street lamps?

I began to slow down as I turned a corner, when I saw some wet patches shimmering off the road. I swerved left to avoid them, when I felt the wheels spin. A flash of terror ran through me as I tried to steer the car, but the speed caused it to spin out of control.

The next few moments were a blur, until I saw what appeared to be two familiar, sickening faces ahead of me. I didn't know what came over me, but the sight of them invoked something evil inside me.

I managed to regain control of the car, and made a decision that would destroy my entire life. But at that point, I really didn't care.

She had to pay.

I replaced my foot on the gas, and narrowed my eyes towards my intended target.

Bella Swan.

I vaguely saw him kiss her and that angered me even more. Was he fuckin' stupid?!  
I watched as he held her against his car, and I felt myself begin to tremble with nothing but pure rage. A smirk spread across my face as I saw her head out into the middle of the road.

That was my opportunity to end everyone's frustration and agony, and I wasn't going to miss it .

I flicked on my headlights and pushed the car harder, my speed almost hitting 80. I swerved with purpose from left to right to make it look like the car was out of control, when I saw Jacob's eyes widen in fear.  
She had bent down to pick up her shoe when my sensitive ears heard him scream at her to move. All I could do was chuckle. The car hurtled forwards and as her face became clearer. I knew she wouldn't have been able to tell it was me, as my headlights were too blinding.

Jacob was by her side in a shot, trying his best to remove her from the situation, but each time he failed.

I was millimeters away from them now, so close I could see the tears in his eyes. He was crying because he knew what was going to happen.

I was going to take away his air; I was going to destroy his reason for breathing.

Bella knew what was going to happen and, for once in her life, she did the right thing. She pushed Jacob out the way, and risked her own life instead.

And then it happened. I felt her entire body collide with the front bumper, and heard her piercing scream as she began to tumble over my windshield.

A part of me wanted to feel sad, to feel sick for the disgusting act I had carried out...but I felt nothing

If anything I felt relieved.

I cringed slightly as I heard her body crash over the roof of my car, and then watched in my wing mirror as her body plunged onto the pavement.

I wasn't completely heartless; the look of her face sent chills through me. I never wanted things to come to this, but they had. And now I couldn't and wouldn't change the final outcome.

She deserved that. She deserved to go through the pain she had put my Pack brother through-and more.

Bella Swan deserved to be lying on the cold, hard road, fighting for her life.

And with any luck, there wouldn't be much fight left in her...


	5. Author Note

Hey guys,

Just a quick note to say that Without You IS being written, it's just been extremely hard to get my head around it. I promise you will have something soon!

Thanks for staying with us, we both appreciate all your reviews and support!

Cat


	6. Here is the Truth

A/N: So sorry for the EXTREMELY long delay! Here is the second to last chapter! Last is already written so review if you want it! :)

Major thanks to my Beta and one of my best friend's Wolfgirl Cheri and my gorgeous, extremely talented friend and co-writer Mmsimpy09

Chapter 5 Without you. Here is the Truth.

**JPOV**

Nothing.

That was all anyone had heard for hours now. Doctors and nurses would leave Bella's room, but they never approached me, or Charlie, who by now, was beside himself. I was just about climbing the goddamn walls! Why wouldn't anybody tell us anything?! I just wanted to know if she was ok!

Charlie sat on the uncomfortable, old waiting room chair, with a mug of disgusting coffee in his hands. He was swirling the hot liquid around with a wooden stirrer, as if the answers to all his problems were floating at the bottom on that cup.

While Charlie appeared to remain calm, I was ready to barge the fuck into that room, and take the doctors by their throats and demand they give me some news!

Since Bella had been admitted to this God-forsaken hell hole, it was like, without her, I couldn't laugh, cry be angry or even be sad. I had all of these emotions trapped in my body that begged to be unleashed, but without her, I could do nothing.

More hours passed. My pack had found out one-by-one about the accident and came to offer support. Emily was beside herself; she saw Bella as her sister, and her being in here had hit her hard.

"Oh Jacob, I'm so sorry. I cannot believe this has happened. Are they saying anything about her condition?" she asked as she enveloped me in a warm hug.

I shook my head. No.

I couldn't find it within me to give her the verbal answer she was looking for. I couldn't say the words that my baby still wasn't any better.

Emily nodded with sadness shadowing her eyes. "Has anybody informed Bella's mother? She should be here for this in case-"

In case. That small yet enormous phrase somehow triggered the anger I had tried to bury deep down.

"In case what, Emily? In case she doesn't survive?! She WILL survive! She has to."

Sam stood from his chair faster than a bolt of lightning, immediately taking his place in front of her, protecting her, just like I should have done. "Jacob, I know you're upset, but do not talk to Emily that way. She's only trying to help."

As much as I tried to take his advice on board, I was so angry. I was angry about everything that had happened that night. Why? Why was she ripped from my grip right when I finally had her? What had we done that was so terrible, that the Gods or Spirits found it possible to take away the one person I had always loved, and cause her so much pain?

I couldn't take it. I didn't want to take it. I refused.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not willing to accept that the love of my life will give up so easily! She loves me! Our love is worth fighting for, it has to be!"

Suddenly I felt my entire body start to tremble and shake. I had to stay in control. Bella was my girl, not my wolfs; their souls may be imprinted, but she was MY girl!

"Excuse me," A doctor said, interrupting my inner argument. "I'm looking for Mr. Charlie Swan, Isabella's father?"

I jumped from my chair, earning a strange look from the doctor. Yeah get over it, she's my girlfriend I have a right to know!

Charlie shot up right away, anxiety written all over his face. "He's with me. I'm Charlie Swan. Is my daughter ok?" he replied quickly.

The doctor held out his hand to both Charlie and me. "Let's take a seat. Would it be possible to discuss this alone?" His eyes moved to my pack brothers.

Without hesitation I commanded, "Leave."

They carried out my command with no delay.

"Isabella has suffered various severe injuries. We've taken several scans to see the extent of the damage and so far, the primary damage appears to be in her head-"

"Her head?!" Charlie cried, not believing his ears.

_Her head..._

"When she was brought in, we noticed she has several lacerations to her face and scalp, although they didn't appear as serious, the brain is still at risk of being jostled inside of her skull because of the impact of the crash. As I said, we've taken several CAT scans to assess the extent of her injury and also to her spine. At this particular moment in time, Isabella is at high risk of brain or cervical spine injury." The Doctors paused to let us take it all in.

If she did pull through this, there would be a huge chance she wouldn't be MY Bells...

The person who put her in here was going to pay with their life!

He then continued. "The basic treatment for head injuries was carried out in the ambulance enroute here. However, due to finding a blood clot within the tissue and severe bleeding, we are now having to increase the treatment, which means I would need yourself or Isabella's mother to sign a release form, so I can go ahead and perform Neurosurgery."

Without hesitation, Charlie gave the go ahead. "Give me that release. If this is what it takes to speed up her recovery, I'll do it. I'll do anything..."

The doctor nodded in acknowledgment, and left the room briefly to retrieve the release forms.

The door opened moments later, and he handed over the paper.

Charlie sighed, looking at his wits end. "Just give it to me straight, Doc. What's the worst case scenario here?" he asked, while filling out the form.

"We are going to do everything in our power to make sure it doesn't come to this, but worst case scenario would be death."

_ .Death._

_My Bells...gone forever._

_ .Death._

I couldn't accept that answer. I refused to accept that answer! My baby would pull through, she had to!

In reaction, my body started to tremble, and I knew what shortly followed. I needed to get out of there; the close proximity to death was unnerving. The fact I knew the worst case scenario and couldn't do fuck all about it, killed me.

"Sir? Are you okay?" asked the doctor.

"I...I...need to get out of here. I need some fresh air." And on that note, I shot up and flew out the door before the grief completely overwhelmed me.

**CPOV**

I was heartbroken, shattered beyond all repair. My precious angel was fighting for her life and all I could do was look through the goddamned window! I wanted to be in there, by her side, holding her hand, but the quacks wouldn't allow it.

How did they expect me to stay sane? It was killing me to know how much pain she was in and there nothing I could do to stop it! Wasn't that my job? Stopping her pain, shielding her from the evil of this world? So why the hell couldn't I stop this?

"Chief?" a soft, kind voice asked from behind me.

Slowly I turned my head to see a sad looking Emily Young approaching me. "You can call me Charlie." I paused, trying to control my tears. I knew how close Bella and Emily were. "What's up, Emily?"

She began to fiddle with her fingers as she stood before me. "I just wondered if you would like me to contact Renee? Nobody seems to have reached her and well...I kind of thought, as she's her mom, she should be here."

I sighed. It had completely slipped my mind to contact Renee. I was so caught up in getting Bella better, I forgot to inform her.

"Thanks Em, that would be a load off. " I paused. "After you do, could you also check on Jake for me? I don't think he's coping with it very well."

Emily nodded and gave a wobbly smile. "Sure thing Chie- Charlie."

And with that, Emily left to contact Renee, while I stood and gazed into Bella's room watching as they prepped her for surgery, praying that she would be ok.

I'd had enough for one night; I just wanted my daughter to pull through.

**RPOV**

"Renee, you have a message, honey," said my husband, Phil. The warm Floridian weather had been exactly what I needed. Phil wasn't around much because of his baseball, but when he was, I cherished our time together. As much as my new home in Florida was everything I'd ever wanted, It still needed one thing: my daughter.

I missed her terribly. Of course I would, I'm her mother. And it killed me when I had to leave her with Charlie, but what other choice did I have? She needed a stable environment, one that living with a baseball player couldn't provide, but Charlie could.

But that didn't mean that I didn't think about her; I did, every single day.

I placed my cocktail on the table beside me and climbed off of the sun lounger, placing my sun glasses on my head. "Coming!" I sung happily.

Making my way up the porch steps, I took the receiver from my husband, but not before giving him a swift kiss. He smiled, winked at me then walked inside, giving me some privacy. I couldn't help but feel hundreds of butterflies flutter around in my stomach. That man made me feel like a teenager again.

Smiling, I placed the phone to my ear. "Renee Dwyer."

"Mrs. Dwyer, my name is Emily Young. I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but I have some bad news." Bad news? What could possibly be so bad?

"I'm sorry, miss, do I know you?"

"Oh goodness, I'm sorry. I'm a close friend of your daughter, Bella." A wave of relief rushed over my body. I was glad my baby had finally found some friends, she needed that.

"No problem, sweetheart, now you said you had some bad news? Do I need to sit down?" I chuckled.

The line fell silent, though I could hear very faint hitched breaths.

"Emily? Is everything ok?"

"Yes, I'm afraid you may need to sit down. What I'm about to tell you won't be easy."

As I listened to Bella's friend, I could hardly believe my ears. A shockwave of horror struck my heart at the thought of my beautiful angel in the hospital. I didn't understand how that could have happened.

Before I knew what was happening, my legs went from under me and my entire body crumbled to the floor in shock and fear. I felt like my heart had been ripped out, my eyes couldn't contain the dam of tears slowly finding their escape.

I had to get to Forks as soon as possible.

**BPOV**

I could feel myself fading, drifting further into the black abyss. As much as I tried to bring myself around, the pain and agony I was in was just too much. I tried to open my eyes; I needed to see my Jacob. I needed to look into his beautiful eyes and see the life shine back at me. I wanted to kiss his lips and see the visions of our magnificent future before my eyes.

I wanted him to hold my hand as we walked down the beach. Whisper sweet nothings in my ear as we cuddled near the bonfire. Kiss, touch, caress and love every part of his body.

As much as I tried to force myself into consciousness, the more my life with Jacob seemed to slip away.

**JPOV**

I had been outside, pacing up and down for ten minutes. My head buzzed from everything that had happened. I couldn't ignore the aching, niggling feeling nipping at my heart any longer. My wolf was growing crazy without the closeness of his imprint. I was going insane without the touch and presence of the love of my life.

I needed to suck it up and be the man everybody needed me to be. I needed to go back into the hospital and stay by my girl's side.

**CPOV**

The next day, I sat in Bella's room along with a devastated Jacob. We were anxiously waiting for her to come out of surgery, and to be honest, not knowing how my baby was was killing me.

A moment later, the door flew open and the nurses caring for Bella came in pushing her bed. I gulped hard, and immediately stood. Jacob was up like a shot and striding towards her side. The nurses explained to him that she needed time to recover; she had been through alot, and her body was extremely fragile and sore.

The look of pure agony on his face brought tears to my eyes. I felt his pain; I knew how he felt as she was my daughter. It was tearing me apart to know how much pain she was in, but I couldn't do anything about it. She was my life, and my life was literally hanging in the balance.

That thought alone terrified me.

I glanced towards Jake, and saw the look of exhaustion in his eyes. He needed to sleep, but I knew he wouldn't leave her side.

"Son, you need to rest-"

"No, I'm staying. She needs me here," he snapped back. His eyes were boring into her body, almost willing her telepathically to wake up. Jacob held her hand within his and held onto her for dear life. His cheeks were stained from his tears. The rims of his eyes were red raw from the constant leak of salty tears. His eyes dull and bloodshot from exhaustion, and his entire stance looked almost defeated.

"Jacob, if anything changes I'll let you know. She would want you to sleep, son, you know that. There's nothing more we can do; her body needs to recover so she is our Bella when she wakes up."

At my words, his eyes snapped to mine. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you for saying 'when' and not 'if'. Everybody's acting as if she won't wake up, and I need to hold on to the fact she will. She has to..." He faded off with more tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I understand, son. But go home. I promise you will be the first one I call. I expect Renee will be here soon, and Bella doesn't need a crowd around her."

"Charlie I can't-"

"Son, trust in me. I know how you feel for her. I know how she feels for you; you will be the first one I contact if anything happens. But you need to rest."

I could see how reluctant he was to leave; it was like if he moved an inch from her side it would physically hurt him.

"Go son, rest then come back. You'll feel better for it."

His sad, forlorn eyes met mine. "Promise me you'll call?" He sounded almost pained.

I nodded my head in response; I was true to my word. I would contact him if anything happened. Jacob then nodded, and kissed Bella's hand. He whispered something in his tribal language and then left, very slowly.

**JPOV**

I smiled. My beautiful angel was lying next to me, with nothing but a sheet and my hand covering her body. Her eyes shone with love and devotion. Her heart beat increased every time our eyes locked. Her gorgeous brown hair was sprawled out over the pillow from our passionate lovemaking. God, how good it felt to be inside her, finally moving as one. Our bodies joined, connected for that period of time, rocking together creating unimaginable amounts of pleasure that I never knew existed. The intense happiness I felt as I looked into her eyes and saw the same emotions mirrored back at me. The way I felt when my lips touched and claimed every inch of her body.

The way my wolf purred with happiness; It was fucking amazing.

"You're so beautiful, Bells," I said softly, as my fingers traced over her creamy skin.

A blush played across her cheeks, causing her to look toward the mattress. "You are biased, you have to say that."

I lifted her chin, making sure to look her dead in the eyes. "Since when have you ever known me to have to do something? I'm a Black, baby; I do and say what I want. And I think you are fucking beautiful. Every single inch of you is so gorgeous." I kissed her lips. "So damn gorgeous."

As our kiss progressed into something a little more passionate, I heard her mumble against my lips. "I love you so much, Jake."

Fuck, how good did those words sound? Most of my life I've yearned to hear them and now that I have, I wouldn't change it for the world. Isabella Swan was mine, at long fucking last.

Her hands flew into my hair, forcing me towards her. I couldn't help it, my body, mind, soul and wolf craved to be close to her - inside her. Slowly my hands came down and gently cupped, then massaged her perfect breasts. Through touching and holding her body, I had finally found my heaven.

Instinctively my knees nudged her legs open, causing her to separate them and allow me in between. I groaned into her mouth as the blistering heat from her core burned my skin in the most amazing way.

"Jake..." she moaned, as my lips left hers and trailed down her body. I kissed, licked and suckled every inch of her skin until I reached her exquisite nipples. I found myself practically salivating just at the thought of what I could do to them, and the reactions I would evoke from her as my tongue lapped and flicked them.

I felt her body arch and writhe beneath me. She needed me-my touch-and I wasn't about to say no.

My mouth descended onto her hard nipple, taking her breast fully into my mouth. I teased her continuously, scraping, nibbling, lapping, flicking her nipple anyway I could, eliciting some incredible moans from her. Her hands found their way into my hair, softly massaging my scalp and holding me in place.

I moved my right hand over her body as my mouth continued its mission of pleasure on her breasts. I wasn't ready to let go yet. My fingers slowly worked their way down between her legs, caressing the soft, tender skin on her thighs. I needed to get her ready for me, prepare her for my size, so I let my fingertips glide over the outer skin of her lips, groaning as I felt how soft and moist she was.

I felt her buck against my hand, and after several more strokes, I knew she was ready.

"Jake, baby, I need you..."

An animalistic growl escaped from my lips. I couldn't help but push her further. "What do you need, honey? Tell me?"

My finger then moved on to her tiny bundle of nerves, slowly rubbing, causing her to gasp. "Ugh..."

My eyes rolled into my head as she moaned for me, her legs and body trembled under my influence. "Tell me what you want me to do to you, baby," I ordered softly in her ears, nibbling her earlobe.

She then said something which caught me completely off guard.

"Take me, Jake, fuck me." My jaw dropped. There was no hesitation or shyness in her demand; it was a flat out order and it turned me the fuck on!

"Fuck, you're so sexy." I growled into her neck as my fingers continued to tease her. I felt her warm, slick juices start to coat my fingertips, and I knew she was reaching an orgasm, but I wanted to be inside her as I gave her the much needed release.

Moving my hand away and bringing them to my lips, Bella stunned me again. She took my hand and placed my fingers inside her mouth, sucking and devouring her juices.

That had to have been the sexiest thing I had ever seen. She then released my hand and yanked me down, pressing her lips to mine. I literally died. The delicious taste of her pending orgasm coating her tongue, mixing with the natural taste of Bella, was fucking amazing. I took everything I could get.

I reluctantly pulled away from the kiss, and pushed the head of my cock slowly into her burning core. "Fuck, baby, you're still so tight," I moaned into her neck.

I felt her smile into my skin as I continued to stretch and move into her body. If I died now, I'd be a fucking happy man.

"Make love to me, baby," Bella whimpered against my shoulder, her hands clamping on to my ass as I filled her.

I intended on doing just that and so much more.

Then something struck me. She kissed my lips but it was different. It was hard, controlling and domineering, and nothing like my Bella. I tried to get her to slow it down but she demanded dominance, thrusting her tongue into my mouth- a tongue that wasn't my baby's.

"We can be together now, Jacob, just like we've always wanted." What the fuck?!

My eyes flew open, and before I could even process what was happening, a boiling hot hand found its way into my shorts, causing my wolf to go mad insane anger.

That wasn't my Bella.

I pushed the person off, and wiped the disgusting taste off my mouth.

"What the _fuck_, Leah?!"

A small smirk played across her lips. "Don't act like you didn't like it. We both know you were getting into that."

Was this chick for real? "I was enjoying it! Up until you laid your hands on me! Why don't you get it, Leah? I'm in love with Bella!"

Her frown faded instantly. "You were thinking of HER? Fuck sake, Black! Are you fucking stupid? I'm the one you should be with!" she fumed, her face turning red in rage.

I shook my head in frustration. "No. Leah, it's never been you. I'm sorry, but my heart belongs to Bell-"

I was rudely cut off by the sickly taste of Leah's lips on mine. For a few seconds I was so stunned I couldn't react. Then my brain registered everything that was happening, and I frantically pushed her off. "Leah, leave. Now!"

"No! I won't fucking leave! That bitch has taken everything from me, and I'm not taking her bullshit anymore! I mean fuck, the bitch isn't even here and she's still causing trouble for us!"

That was it.

I lost it. "There isn't a fucking 'us', why don't you get that?! I'm in love with Bella and I always have been! She's the one I fantasize about; even when I was with you, I imagined I was fucking her!" I roared.

I knew I had probably gone a little over the top, but the woman just wouldn't fucking get it! Bella was my life and always had been! I wasn't about to lose everything I'd worked so fucking hard for a meaningless fuck with that psychotic bitch!

My body, heart and wolf wouldn't allow it.

**RPOV**

I had jumped on the first flight available to Forks, and prayed with everything I had in me that my baby would make it out of this. When I got to the hospital, the place was full with half naked teenage boys, but at that precise moment I really couldn't care less about that.

I made my way toward reception and found out Bella's room, then sprinted there as fast as my legs would take me.

Now I sat by her bed an hour later, my hand holding hers, willing - urging - her to come back to us. We all needed her.

Listening to the piercing beeps of the machines keeping her alive was hell. The doctors had told me that although the surgery went well, the first few hours after an operation were critical. My baby looked so weak and fragile, it tore me apart to think of the pain she must have gone through. My only child, having to suffer so much pain, was an unbearable thought.

The doctors and nurses had told me she could hear everything we were saying, and to try and talk to her. So I did that.

Choking back my tears, I brought her hand to my lips and softly kissed it. "Hey my sweet girl, it's your mom. I know, you are probably thinking what the hell is she doing here. But you see, you're giving us all a hard time. I need you to come back, darling." I paused, the tears falling from my eyes. "Charlie needs you. You know what he's like, and he's useless around the house. He has trouble boiling water." I chuckled, wiping away my tears. I promised I wouldn't do this, but seeing her so lifeless...tore me apart.

"So, Emily told me you have a thing for Billy Black's son. I always knew you two would hit it off; you were unbelievably close as children, pretty much inseparable. You never went anywhere without one another; it was either you go with him or he'd find a way to go with you."

"I need you to wake up, baby. I need to hear your voice every week; I need to see the goofy pictures you send. I need to know my precious daughter is flying high and happy. Jacob needs to see into those beautiful eyes and see how much you love him. He needs to hold you close and plan your lives together. Charlie needs his little spitfire. He needs to be kept in line, and you seem to be the only person capable of doing that." I gave a sad chuckle, praying my words were working.

I held my hand out and stroked along her cold cheeks, wincing at how cold they were. My fingers moved into her hair, letting her know that I was there. "Please...please open those brown eyes. Please put us all out of our misery. I love you, darling, and I need my baby girl to come back and tell me she loves me. Please don't leave us...please?"

Suddenly a loud beeping sound echoed around the hospital room, waking Charlie and alerting the hospital staff.

_Oh, God. Please...please...don't do this!_

The doctors and nurses came rushing in, moving myself and Charlie out of the way. "She's going into cardiac arrest. I need to start emergency CPR!" the doctor instructed while getting the defibrillator.

"Can someone please remove Miss Swan's parents?" he ordered.

With us removed from the room, they cut Bella's nightgown and placed pads on her chest. He took the defibrillator and counted down. "Three... Two... One... Clear!" They collided with her chest, sending electric shocks throughout her body, causing her to automatically arch away from the bed.

My heart leapt from my chest. Tears fell uncontrollably down my cheeks as I watched them shock her body. My beautiful little girl was going through so much pain. I wanted to be in there, by her side, but I couldn't.

And that tore me apart.

**Leah's POV**

God! I was so pissed! That snotty little cow wasn't even here, and she was still fucking up my life with Jacob! Why couldn't he just let her go?

"All you ever think about is that clumsy bitch! Why won't you see I'm so much better for you than her?!" I yelled, while throwing daggers toward the love sick puppy in front of me. It was so fucking pathetic!

Jake jumped off the bed, and aggressively grabbed a hold of my arm. His fingernails were burying themselves in my skin. "I want you out! NOW!"

Shaking myself from his grip, I pushed him away from me. "No! You need to hear a few hard truths! That woman is nothing but a vicious, clumsy school girl! She couldn't handle the big bad wolf that is "Jacob Black," but I could!" The man made me so angry!

"I'm not doing this with you, Leah. I've told you where my heart lies. If you can't deal with that, that's your own problem."

He then delivered a killer blow. "Is that the reason you didn't visit her? You're jealous of my feelings for her?"

I scoffed. "Please, don't flatter yourself, Black. I didn't visit her because I see no reason to lower myself to vamp lover's level."

Glancing up, I started to see his body trembling and shaking with rage. "You will not SPEAK of those mother fucking leeches while in my presence! GOT ME?! Bella is my imprint! MINE!"

Imprint? I suddenly felt like I'd been punched in the stomach so hard I'd been knocked to the floor. "You've imprinted on her?"

With his jaw clenched, he almost proudly answered. "Yes. I have finally imprinted on her, and if you think I'm going to lose her over this thing you think we have, you are wrong. You have caused enough trouble! You are an unstable bitch who needs to get the FUCK out of my house!"

At his vicious, cowardly statement, I lost it. My entire body trembled from the inside out. My insides began to burn uncontrollably, and my anger reached boiling point. It was then that I knew what was happening, and I needed to get out of the dingy house. Now.

Before I knew what was happening, Jacob had dragged me arm first outside where we both transformed into our wolves.

It was then that I made the heart stopping mistake.

**JPOV**

My vision had been bombarded with a sea of mind-numbing images.

I saw everything.

It was her, my pack sister, someone I was supposed to be able to rely on. I couldn't believe it. I stood on my paws stunned, not sure of how to deal with everything I'd just seen.

I was drowning in her twisted thoughts as I saw through her eyes as she knocked my baby over. I couldn't take it; my entire body threatening to erupt with pure rage.

**"She deserved it, Jake! She took you away from me! I love-"** I lunged at her throat, running full speed. I completely lost it. My life had been completely ruined! My beautiful girl was lying in a fucking hospital bed because that psychotic bitch refused to understand the meaning over.

**"HOW COULD YOU? SHE'S MY FUCKING LIFE!"** I raged, my teeth sinking into her fur. Jake wasn't here any longer- in his place was a malicious wolf, torn apart and out for revenge. First on his hit list: Leah fucking Clearwater.

She may have been faster than me, but I was stronger. She tried to shove my wolf from her body, but my wolf wasn't going to be deterred from his mission. I lifted my paws, my razor sharp claws sparkling against the sun, and swiped it across her face.

**"Ah! Jake, you're hurting me!"** Leah's wolf whimpered from the pain I was inflicting upon her worthless body.

With my teeth bared, saliva flying out of my mouth, my nostrils flared as I panted furiously. **"GOOD! YOU DESERVE TO BE IN PAIN!**

Leah growled loudly, using her paws she violently launched me into the air. With my lightning reflexes, I managed to stop myself from crashing to the ground. She jumped up on all fours, our wolves' circling each other, as if stalking prey.

**"Jake, we can be together now, why don't you see that?!"**

I growled and shook my head, blocking out her voice. **"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! THERE WILL NEVER BE AN US! THERE NEVER HAS BEEN AN US! YOU BETTER FUCKING PRAY SHE WAKES UP. OR YOU ARE DEAD!"** I couldn't stand to be near that evil bitch. I wanted her gone, and gone forever!

Feeling the urgent need to remove myself, I ran towards the beach. I couldn't believe it. She was my pack sister for fuck sake! We were supposed to protect each other, not inflict unimaginable amounts of pain on one another. I needed to be away from here; I needed to be by my Bella's side, making sure she was ok.

But I was so fucking angry. I was out of my mind! Why was all of this happening? I just wanted to be with Bella, make her happy and give her the live we'd always dreamt of.

Were people ever going to let us be free?

~~WY~~

I had phased back into human form and was idly picking up and launching sticks, shells and stones into the rolling ocean.

As I threw them, I felt some part of me-somewhere deep within-slowly fading away. My life had suddenly lost all its colour, all the happiness that once filled my heart was slowly seeping away. The strength in my body - my will to fight - felt redundant. I suddenly became the young, innocent, naive kid I used to be before all the supernatural shit. Only this time, my love - my love for Bella, my beautiful angel - was a thousand times stronger.

Pain - unendurable pain - surrounded my beating heart, as the realization of what was happening finally hit me.

She was leaving me.

My gorgeous Bella, my beautiful Swan, my stronger, stubborn, hot-headed imprint, was giving into the fight.

Giving up on us - on me.

The sheer power of the thought sent me tumbling to my knees. I hit the pebbles with a thud as my body collapsed over itself. My once strong, unbreakable, invisible shield was slowly crumbling to pieces before my eyes. I suddenly felt weak, defenceless...vulnerable. So much so, I brought my trembling hands up and around my chest and held on tight as if my arms were keeping me held together. They weren't. Bella was the only thing capable of holding my heart, body and soul intact...and now she was leaving me. The tears of friendship, happiness, longing, sadness, anger, denial...love...violently broke free from my eyes as I held in the urge to scream at the top of my lungs- scream from the feeling of my baby slipping further and further away.

My body began to tremor ferociously as the scream I had forced deep within finally ripped through my entire body. Kneeling, I squeezed my eyes shut, threw my head back and roared towards the sky.

**"BBBEEEELLLLLAAAAAAAA!"**

I felt it; as the torrent of pain cascaded down my cheeks, I knew. I would never hear her beautiful laugh, look into her gorgeous brown eyes, watch as she danced around the kitchen or take us both to new heights of pleasure as I made love to her stunning body ...I would never have those things again.

My sexy, innocent, smart, beautiful Bella had left me. My wolf howled in pain as his imprint had broken his very soul by leaving him.

My best friend, love of my life and sole reason for breathing...was gone forever.

My life was over.

~WY~

Minutes, hours, days, months...years could have passed for all I cared. I had lost the will to fight, breathe, move...live. I was nothing without my beautiful Bells. I was a corpse, the walking dead. I had no life now. Everything I had fought so hard for, cried for, bled for...it was all gone.

More tears of devastation swam around my eyes as I remembered how she looked when we expressed our love for one another and she kissed me - really kissed me. She was radiant; an angel.

Now our happily ever after was no more. I couldn't be the Knight in Shining Armour and save her like in her romance books...because she had already left me.

My broken - shattered- heart was damaged beyond repair and the only person who would ever be able to fix it, was the one person who had broken it.

The sound of twigs snapping and leaves rustling brought me back to the painful present, a present where my best friend no longer existed.

"Jake?" Seth said, sadly. "I know you probably just want to be left alone to grieve for Bella. But I just wanted you to know...I'm here...if you need anything."

I clenched my eyes shut and fought the urge to tell him to leave me the fuck alone and let me die in peace. I couldn't; it wasn't his fault he was related to that murdering bitch. He was just the poor fucker having to clean up all her shit, as per fucking usual.

Well not this time.

My murderous eyes shot open, my entire body shook with rage and anger as I growled. "You wanna do something for me?"

Seth's heart raced with fear as he absorbed my icy tone and nodded cautiously.

I stood and turned my lethal gaze into the scared little boy in front of me. "Take me to Leah."

~WY~

Leah was never seen nor heard from again. No one knows exactly what became of her, and everyone is afraid to ask. She is simply...gone.

* * *

**Please review! :)**


	7. Here is where I rest

_**Here is, the final chapter for Without You, please enjoy. I'd also like to know that this chapter is not for the faint of heart. It deals with depression and some very sensitive subject matter, be advised this story is rated the highest allowed rating for that reason.**_

They say that time has the ability to heal all wounds.

I would have to say that saying is complete bullshit.

Time does not have some magical entity to it that makes all of your pain fade away. All time does is put distance between you and the incident that resulted in the wounds that you want healed.

With every second that passes, my heart aches just a little bit more. I see her beautiful smile in my memory. Whenever the corners of her mouth pulled up, it felt like she was bringing light into my darkened world. Whenever I had felt a little lost because of the supernatural hold over me, she would light up my life with a radiant smile. In those wonderful moments, everything always felt so perfect, so right. The ache in my chest burned as my hand brought the glass to my lips. I felt the warmth that enveloped my throat as the whiskey slid down.

Minutes trickle by. My thoughts wander to her eyes. They had always been like an open book. There was never a moment where there wasn't some sort of story being told within their depths. Those beautiful chocolate orbs allowed me to see into her soul. Knowing that our souls were entwined is, was, an honor, a privilege really. Not a single moment would go by that I didn't mourn the loss of the deep connection that we once shared.

My hand lifted, bringing the glass to my lips once more. I wanted the liquid to help ease my pain, maybe even erase it for a brief moment. It was so hard for me to get drunk, so I wasn't expecting the contents of the glass to do anything for me.

The passing days did nothing but remind me of all that I had lost.

My hand shook as I brought the glass to my lips another time. I downed what was in the cup, which was more than a mouthful and placed it back in front of me. I felt the familiar burning sensation as it slid down my throat. It was times like this that I wished I was a normal human being. I wished that I didn't turn into a gigantic ball of fur. If I was completely normal person, I'd have already drunk enough liquor to keep me on my ass for a long time. As it was, I felt the mild buzz of it in my system. There was a faint blur to my vision, but it wasn't enough, not yet. I was at the entrance of the world where Bella still existed.

I reached forward and my hand grasping the half empty bottle of Johnny Walker. As I brought it towards my cup my other hand came up and uncapped the lid. Before I filled my glass, I brought the top of the container to my lips, sucking down a mouthful. As the remnants of my gulp slid down my throat, I poured another full glass. Sighing, I replaced the lid and slid the bottle back to the center of the table.

All I wanted was to feel just a little less pain. I wanted to feel like I could heal, like I could attempt to move on. Those feelings, they would never come. Deep down, I knew my soul would never recover and I would never love anyone like I love Bella.

No matter how hard I tried to persuade myself that the healing would come, that the pain would subside, I knew I was lying to myself, it was a harsh reality but I didn't care. All I cared about at the moment was a fantasy world that I was building in my mind. It was a world where there would be need for me to mourn the loss of Bella. She'd still be alive in that world. There would be no chance of her being so cruelly ripped away from me. Her gorgeous smile would make the sun rise every morning, her eyes would always be filled with her love for me, our souls would forever be whole and attached. That world, the one I was dreaming off, the sun would forever shine and a rainbow would always loom on the horizon. Maybe, just maybe if I tried hard enough, I could make it come alive, make it more than a false reality that exists in my mind.

If only that false place I wanted to create could really exist.

My disturbing thoughts of a place where Bella was alive, they continued to swirl around in my head. Each painful memory had me slipping down the rickety wooden chair a little further. The images and the thoughts, they were going to drive me mad and were pulling up the emotions I wanted to keep buried deep within me. It was the moments like this, that were happening more and more frequently, that I wanted to be numb and emotionless. There was only one thing that I wanted more than I wanted that inviting numbness and that was impossible. Bella would never be real again. Her face swirled in my mind and I felt myself drowning in the pain the imagery was causing.

Nothing would ever matter but her.

Swallowing another swig of the whiskey, my eyes drifted to the chair beside me. The slight grip that I held over my control was continuing to slip away from me. I hated myself for allowing a stupid chair to bring me pain. But it wasn't just some random stupid chair, it was her chair. The one she always sat in to do homework with me. Looking at it brought an image of her sitting here at the table with me. Her sad eyes were watching me as I destroyed myself with grief and alcohol. Then, they drifted to the table and took note of the item beside the liquor bottle. I couldn't bear to see what she would think and my eyes focused on the glass in my hand.

With every passing second, my hand tightened around the glass. It started to crack against my increasing grip. After a moment I heard the slightly cracking but I didn't care. My eyes came back up to the chair but my vision of Bells had disappeared and now there was only the empty space where I wished she was. Anger at her missing presence engulfed me and my fist clenched tighter. The cup didn't stand any sort of chance against me. It shattered.

I felt the stinging pain almost immediately. Pieces of the glass cup had lodged themselves into my skin. My mind wandered to the pain that my dear Bells must have experienced after being struck by the car. It made the pain of large glass shards being embedded in my skin feel so trivial. As I pushed the pain from my mind, I stood up from the chair I was sitting in. There was clambering sound behind me and I realized I stood much faster than I had realized. I didn't even make an effort to right it; I just moved away from the table and came to stand by the garbage bin.  
Opening my hand, the loose pieces of glass fell into the trash. Most of the shards that fell from my hand had a coating of my blood. It made my mind wander to the road that Bella's blood had soaked. Pain tore at my heart as the image rolled around in my head. It took everything I had to push the image away, I could think about that right now. No, I refused too. My thoughts would turn to the insane bitch who fucked everything up; I couldn't go there, not again. Just a mere glimpse of the thought made my body shake from anger.

I managed to suppress the urge to phase. The last thing I wanted was to share a pack mind right now. They were all mourning the loss of a friend. None of them needed to feel the pain I kept bottled up and they didn't need to see any of the thoughts swirling in the back of my mind. If they knew half of what I was seeing and feeling, then they would do everything they could to stop the different things I was considering. I loved the pack, they were family. They have always been there for me but I couldn't be around them right now.

I shook my head slightly, attempting to dislodge the thoughts of the pack. Sighing, I reached forward and tugged on the handle. There was a slight rattling sound, but it calmed within a second. When the water came cascading out of the faucet, I slipped my injured hand underneath. The cool liquid came in contact with the open wounds, which stung like a fucking bitch. I'd always thought paper cuts were the worst, I was wrong. Having chunks of glass sticking out of your hand, that was worse. With yet another sigh, I made sure to flip my hand in an attempt to wash away the majority of the blood, which was coming out at a steady pace.

For the briefest of moments, I contemplated allowing the large chunks to remain imbedded in my skin. There wasn't a point in doing so though, not with the plan that was slowly coming together in my fucked up mind.

Besides, it would be worse to allow my body to heal with the chunks of the cup still present. Granted it would take awhile, but the wounds would eventually heal around the glass. Sometimes being involved in the supernatural world was nothing but a curse. Especially times like now, when I silently wished that I could bleed to death like a normal person. It would allow me to experience what Bella may have felt. I wanted to watch the warm red liquid flow out of my body, feel my strength weaken, I wanted to eventually pass out and never wake up. It would allow me to feel a connection to her, or at least I think it would. But no, I couldn't do that. That wasn't the way that I wanted to die when the time comes.

I wanted the time to come soon; I wanted to be with Bella again.

After a long moment of standing still, water still cascading over the shards protruding from my skin, I moved my free hand into position. As I quickly ripped the first piece out of my flesh, there was a slightly sickening sucking sound. It was very quiet, only my increased hearing allowed me to hear the sound. Once I allowed the distracting sound to fall from my mind, I dislodged another piece, and then another. It only took me a few minutes to pull every piece free. The shards littered the bottom of the sink. My eyes wandered down to look at them. I noticed the intense coloring of the water as it hit my hand, fell to the sink, and then washed away the blood on the pieces of glass.

My free hand reached over to the opposite side of the sink and grabbed a dark dishtowel. With the towel in hand, I brought it over. I pulled my bleeding hand from the spray of the faucet and quickly wrapped it up. There was no sense in allowing my blood to stain everything as I waited for the injury to begin healing. As I waited, my mind wandered.

The cuts on my hand, which were more or less self-inflicted, they seemed like nothing compared to what _SHE _had faced. Mine, they were shallow and unremarkable. Hers, they were fatal. Unwillingly, my mind conjured up an image I wished that I could forget.

I remembered holding her, kissing her, laughing with her moments before the evening had been destroyed. It was because of her shoe, her shoe that I had accidently kicked into the street. With a smile, she'd gone to get it. Then there were the headlights, we saw them at the same time. Somehow, she managed to react quicker than I could, even though I was the one with supernatural speed. Even though I did everything I could to get to her, it wasn't enough. I'd live with that for the rest of my days, I should have been able to change the outcome. Hell, I wished it had been me, maybe I would have survived, no; it should have been me, no matter the outcome.

My eyes closed as I watched it all happen in my head, yet again. The car colliding with her body, the sickening noise of the tires squealing as the vehicle sped away, the heartbreaking sight of her body landing painfully hard on the road. I blinked away the moisture in my eyes as I thought about holding her bloodied, broken, body in my arms. So many times I begged her not to leave me, to just hold on, to stay with me. Oh how I begged, but begging never seems to work, not for me.

It really is terrifying how things can change in just a brief moment. All it really takes is a blink of an eye and the world is forever altered.

With my mind conjuring those images, the moisture I had tried to blink away, it became too much and a single tear rolled down my cheek. I wanted to be strong for her, even if she wasn't here with me. But damn it, every fucking thing caused me pain. I couldn't sleep because she haunted my dreams. I couldn't eat because nothing tastes as good as her home cooked meals. Everything that came into my mind somehow revolved around her.

Life was a fucked up thing. I was angry that fate had given her to me, only to take her soon after. That was how life worked, right? Like I said, life was so fucked up.

In life you give and you take. At first, fate had been wonderfully kind and given my Bella. I had been allowed a chance at the happiness I so desperately yearned to have with Bella. She was like the missing piece of my puzzle. With her, I'd felt true happiness. It was like my life was looking up and I would always have a reason to smile. She was the light in the darkness of my supernatural existence. Bella was mine. She was the one thing that only I would have. Imprints were the only individual thing within the pack.

As happy as I was with how kind fate had been, I should have known it wouldn't last. The best things never do, do they? The fucked up plan fate had cost me my happiness, it cost Bella her life. She was cruelly ripped from the world. Her loss made the entire puzzle fall apart for me. She had been the key piece, the glue, without her everything began to fall apart. At first, I was so angry about losing her. I was angry with her for leaving me, but it didn't last.

Standing here in my kitchen, I relished the fact that I wasn't angry anymore, not to the extent I was before at least. Now, I was sad and lost. My emotions circled around in an endless assault but anger remained at a distance most of the time. Some people say anger is all part of the grieving process, but it isn't for me. For me, it's about allowing myself to actually feel the pain, the sadness, which I couldn't do. I couldn't allow the full barrage of emotion because I couldn't accept what they would mean. Even though I knew she was gone and never coming back, I still didn't fully believe. Not when my mind was constantly skipping around in the world of sunshine it invented. Just thinking about it brought moisture to my eyes.

I tried to blink away the wetness but failed.

The pain that I had been trying to keep at bay suddenly took hold of me. It started to pull me under as the image of her broken body invaded my mind. It tore at the pieces of my shattered heart to remember the blood that had soaked through her clothing, staining her pale skin and making the ground around her darker. Seeing the light in her eyes slowly fading away had been hell, I kept begging, pleading with her to not leave me, to stay and fight. Tears were running down my face as I pushed away the images from that horrible night.

It always came to haunt my dreams, but now it plagued me when I was awake.

Just as I thought the images were tucked away, they came slamming back to me. I felt like an outsider watching the scene unfold like it was happening all over again. It was all I could see now. M y mind tried hard to surface her smile, a smile that lit up my cloudy world. The images wouldn't come. They wouldn't bring me one moment of piece as I tried to remove the sight of her bleeding out on the pavement while I continued to tell her she couldn't leave me, not like that. All I wanted was a little luck while trying to conjure up something relatively happy, but luck had never been on my side before, I doubted it would be now, not when I needed it most. If it did come, I'd be lost in my anger.

I'd want to know why that luck didn't come to Bella and I when she was dying in my arms. Why it chose to stay away when it could have made the difference in whether she lived or died.

My feeble attempts to surface something happy were now over, I knew they wouldn't come.  
With a sigh, I pulled the towel away from my hand. It was no longer bleeding; there were just angry pink lines. I had no interest in the towel and tossed it into the sink with the glass shards I'd eventually have to clean up. Before the towel had even landed, I'd already pulled out another cup and placed it on the table. My hand reached for the bottle of Johnny Walker, quickly uncapping it. Bringing the container to my lips, I gulped down several mouthfuls of the liquid. I didn't really need the cup; grabbing one was just an instinct. Setting the bottle down, not bothering to uncap it. I moved to the chair that Bella had once claimed as hers. It would always be hers, it was the closest thing I had to her right now, and I was cherishing it.

Time passed and eventually the bottle of liquor had been emptied.

Bella's chair now sat in the living room. I couldn't look at it right now, not when I had other things on my mind. My head was spinning as I reached towards the center of the table, grabbing the one item I had been avoiding the entire evening. Grasping it tightly in my hand, I situated myself into a comfortable position on my chair, hearing it creak in protest as I moved. I placed the item on my lap.

As I sat at the dining room table, the gun resting peacefully in my lap, I thought about all the moments— those few short moments— we had together. Without Bella here with me, my life was incomplete. I brought the muzzle of the gun so it rested against my aching temple; my eyes gravitated towards the window. In the split second between when the trigger was pulled and the gun fired, I could've sworn I saw Bella standing there waiting for me to join her.

We would finally have our happily ever after.


End file.
